My Dearest,

How many chances?

December 29 2023 06:03 PM
"Kae.. can u heal my wounds..? Can u be my home again..?"
"Oh so who's gonna heal me then?"
"Me, i promised you i'll listen to every problems u have and won't leave you again"
"U already make so much promises to me."

I don't know what happened, but his ex girl friend at that time is still close and in contact with him, I felt betrayed once again, so i texted her, tell her everything, and she tells me everything too. A part of me hurts for myself and a part of me hurts for her aswell, maybe cause we're both girls that's why i can feel what she feel, but why didn't she has this same empathy when she takes u away from me even though she knew we're still together, and why did u respond to her.

How many chances do i need to give to you?

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A part of me still hurts, feel betrayed, and it's kind off hard for me to trust people again, but i went through so much in 2024 that love life isn't my problem anymore, cause my other problem is way worse than that.

February 26 2024
I got diagnosed with rheumatic heart disease, it was hard, for 16 years of my life yes i always wanted to die and kms at some point but this, this is the lowest part of my life where i just don't even care if God takes my life at that night, i just don't care anymore.
In fact i was praying to God to just take my life at that night.

But i was glad, you're here with me again.
I was glad u ask me how's my day when i was in the hospital for 12 days, reminding me to eat, take my pills and sleep well. I was glad, cause it gave me a motivation to actually stay alive at that time.

I'm glad i gave u another chances to fix everything.

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