Clueless [h.s]

[58] Loud

listen to the scientist by Coldplay while reading you won't regret it

Ariana.

It is both quiet and deafening loud at the hospital. Literally quiet, because absolutely nobody sitting in this damn waiting room is speaking. Figuratively loud, because the noise of everybody's thoughts are painstaking. I can tell all of the people who love Harry dearly are thinking, and I know I am thinking and the chorus of our withering thoughts is deafening and ubiquitous, engulfing us. Our thoughts are loud. So very loud.

I sit on an uncomfortable set of chairs lined up against the wall in the waiting room. I was the first one to arrive here and I have been waiting for exactly four hours and every second seemed to stretch on for years. I have not yet heard from the doctors working on Harry nor have I heard if he is alright. Every minute that ticked by seemed to chip at my wrecked flesh of a heart, it was killing me that there was absolutely no news on Harry.

As the hours slowly flew by the waiting room near Harry room was slowly filling up with worried strangers that I have never seen before. When they walked in they were all either in tears or most of them walked in looking absolutely crushed. It was not long that the word spread out because we lived right beside campus.

So four hours later, the waiting room was filled with Harry's friends, family, his boss, his fellow employees at the local coffee shop where he worked at, and even some people who I have never even seen. I was curled up on the uncomfortable chair in the corner of the room with my knees to my chest as my arms hugged them tightly. This room was full of people who love him and need him, he just couldn't see that. No matter how many times I told him him that he was loved he would never listen, he thought that nobody cared for him but in reality there was so many people that needed him more than he ever thought.

Little did all these worried people know that this was all my fault. It was my fault that he drank too many pills. I could've stopped him and gave him all the love he deserved before he made this choice. I could've shown him what he had to live for while I had him. No one noticed Harry the way I did, nobody noticed when he was upset or when he was happy. Everyone thought he was fine from his happy exterior, nobody knew how much he kept inside and how much he was hurting. Harry was unhappy with himself and everything around him but nobody noticed like I did.

Nobody got to know the genuinely happy and incredible person Harry is. I found it hard to believe that all the girls would pass by him without a second glance at his beauty. And whoever stuck by him for a while never got to know him like I did. None of those girls got all his love and trust like how I do. None of them knew what they lost when they left him without a second thought.

I broke out of my deep string of thoughts as loud footsteps echoed throughout the empty halls. My stomach tightened as my eyes were instantly met with dull blue and brown ones at the entrance of the waiting area. I almost broke out sobbing as Niall and Liam stood at there with a frown set on their soft features.

Liam shot me a sympathetic smile, probably because I looked like a complete wreck with makeup running down my face and dry tears staining my cheeks. With wobbly legs I stood to my feet and watched them with glossy eyes as they approached me with arms wide open. The gesture almost made me break into unrelenting sobs but I swallowed the vile in my throat and blinked away the tears as we all huddled into a group hug.

Liam gently pulled away and sat down on one of the uncomfortable chairs in the crowded room. As soon as he pulled away Niall and I stared at each other, both of us knew what was going to happen next. He stared at me so intently, shaking ever so slightly as he clung to his slipping control. His eyes seemed to glow as traces of tears gathered there.