Clueless [h.s]

[62] Try

songs for this chapter are:

try - the xx

au revoir - onerepublic

time forgotten - (music that will make you cry - sad violin)

all I want - kodaline

ENJOY :)

-

SUMMER.

Summer vacation.

Four months of freedom and happiness. The four months I anticipate most the entire year. Summer is supposed to be filled with excitement, summer is made for happiness.

But right now I am not happy nor excited. I do not really feel anything but insanely relieved that I do not have to attend hell on earth for four straight months.

I have four months to fix this. I have four months to get Harry and I back on track. I have four months to pick up the mess Harry made when he deliberately pulled the pin to the grenade and threw it with no caution, never knowing what destruction he could be making until it was done. Now it was all up to me, and only time could determine whether we could remain unbreakable.

The pressure was unbearable at this point. I got almost daily text from Niall, Liam, Kissinger, and Anne asking how Harry was doing. They all hinted a few times to take care of him as well, especially Niall.

Niall: Hey, Ari! How is Harry holding up?

Me: he is better I guess...

Niall: I guess?? Well that doesn't sound well :(

Me: he is holding up fine is what I meant to say. i am trying my best to help him as much as I can :)

Niall: Good. Remind him to call his mum and take him to his therapist soon because I figured he needs it at the moment. Ya can do this! 😄

Me: will do. and thank you, Niall, I am trying my best.

Apparently my best isn't enough for anyone. No one knows how difficult it is to crack someone who is closed off, who shuts everyone out, who is not trying for anyone. Out of all people I knew Kissinger was the only one who truly understood the pressure I had. She knew how difficult and hopeless Harry was for the meanwhile. She knew that he couldn't get better in days, especially after his terrible incident she knew this was his incredible downfall.

She had warned me that this was the time when he would have the most mood swings if he does not take his medicine. She told me he would be even more difficult because his emotions were getting the best of him; it was as if she knew exactly what would happen when patients reached their breaking point.

One thing that I have noticed about Kissinger is that she is faithful. She holds onto every piece of positivity and hope to get her through tough times, she is such a strong woman and I wish I could be more like her.

So I was trying to cling to any spark of hope I had left in me to get me through this riot just like Kissinger. But of course that was almost impossible because as the days went by he would talk even less and less. At first he would reply with a couple word answers, then one worded answers, then that would swiftly shift into simple shrugs and nods of his body. He was slowly shutting down, he was shutting everyone out due to hopelessness, guilt, anxiety, and emptiness all around him.

As the days went by he was eating more than usual whenever I brought him food after class because I knew he never ate if he was alone. Sometimes he would pick at his food and watch it move around his plate as he jabbed it with his fork but whenever he saw me shoot him a disapproving glare, he began eating. I don't know what it was but I guessed that he never had the effort to eat even if he was hungry until someone encouraged him to do so.