Clueless [h.s]

[59] Hope

please listen to 'time forgotten' (music that will make you cry - sad violin) as you read. it has no lyrics but it's just the instrumental of a violin but it's beautiful. anyways enjoy :D

Ariana.

"Why don't we go home and come back in the morning? Get some rest, maybe," Niall suggested.

Liam only shot Niall a shut-up-that's-a-bad-idea look before Niall nodded. We had been huddled up in this group hug for about five minutes as I clung tightly to any piece of clothing I felt as four arms wrapped around me comfortably. I was incredibly broken, the amount of heartache and agony I was in was immense. It was honestly unbearable, I felt it sizzling all over my being which only made it worse. Although I was mentally and emotionally wrecked, I had stopped crying.

I was on the verge of another breakdown, I let the vile in my throat rise and I felt the tears in my eyes almost spill but nothing came out. My breath came out in short, rattled spurs and my body shook with every sob that wracked through my being; but my eyes remained dry. The unrelenting sobs shook through my body over and over again but it was as if I had ran out of tears. The annihilating pain sizzled all over my body and seared a hole straight through my chest.

The ache in my chest was something I'd have to get used to, because this is what my life would be like. There would be no happiness, no warmth, no playfulness. There would be no one to lighten me, to teach me to see the beauty of the world. Most devastatingly, there would be no love, because there would be no Harry.

"I want to wait till he wakes up, I'm not leaving until he wakes up," I mumbled into Liam's chest. "I can't leave him."

After a few more minutes of being locked in our embrace I had managed to control my breathing and sit back down on the uncomfortable cushioned chair. My leg bounced anxiously and I bit my nails. Every second that ticked by seemed to stretch on for years and was chipping away at any emotional control I had left.

Anne and the rest of the few guest that happened to be related to Harry had returned a few minutes ago. There was not much news on Harry and his condition, though. When Anne walked back into the waiting area, her eyes were red and puffy, obvious traces of tears glistened in her eyes.

My hands were shaking and my skin was hot, my mind and body too overwhelmed with stress and anxiety. My breathing was shaky and every breath I drew came in short hiccups. My heart was pounding loudly in my skull and my pulse was strumming against my skull in a rhythm that only made my head hurt even more.

Niall and Liam had switched spots so Niall sat quietly on my right side as Dr Kissinger sat on my left side. Nobody talked much, we sulked in this dead silence and let our thoughts fill the silence of the room. A gentle squeeze of Niall's hand resting atop of mine ripped me from my deep thoughts. Everyone seemed to do that a lot because I was always in such deep agonizing thoughts.

My knee stopped bouncing as I shifted my attention to Niall, his eyes were red and puffy because we both have been crying for a while now. He intertwined our fingers in a friendly manner, comforting us both. He clamped his eyes shut before they shot back open, the blue irises glowing with traces of tears.

"Do y-you know why I feel so guilty, Ari?" Niall stuttered. I cleared my throat and stared at him intently, expecting him to continue. "I-I feel so guilty about this whole thing because I never got to make amends with him,"

"What do you mean?" I questioned, my brow arching up in confusion.

"Remember the time I was being a dick to Harry and we ended up psychically fighting in the middle of the street?" Niall asked. He struggled to keep eye contact with me as he let the tears fill his eyes but not spill over. I nodded and began rubbing the soft skin on the back of his hand with my thumb. "We haven't talked since then, I never apologized to him for throwing those cruel things at his face like that."