Clueless [h.s]

[9] Trouble

Harry blast the heater on once I settle into his car. We both awkwardly stare out the window in complete silence and if he does not speak soon, I am leaving.

I tighten my leather jacket around me for warmth and cross my legs. "What do you want, Harry?" I sigh, sifting my body to face his direction.

"Why are you so upset about this?" He bites the inside of his cheek and fiddles with his fingers.

"Because, Harry." I look down at my shaky hands and continue, "You ruined what I had with Jai." My voice comes out as a squeak and I can feel the vile in my throat at the thought of Jai hating me for what happened that night. Instead of crying, I swallow back the upcoming tears and do not meet Harry's hard gaze.

"Are you guys dating?" His voice is weak and matches mine.

"No, well- I don't- no we're not." I sigh. I feel Harry place his hand on my thigh and even though we are both feeling quite upset, I can feel the electricity burning from my body under his gentle touch.

"What happened after I left?" Harry asks and finally, I stare up into his green eyes.

"He left. He freaked out because he found your sweater on my coat rack and we had a screaming match and then he left. I have not heard a word from him since." The words spill from my lips and so does a single tear but Harry does not see it.

Instead of saying anything, Harry finds my hand, placing his on top of it and rubbing small circles on my palm. I have never seen Harry like this, this vulnerable and weak and no one has ever seen me this disappointed in my life but him, which is real strange because I have only known him for a couple months now. "I'm sorry." His voice is quiet, absolutely defeated.

"It's not your fault, Harry." I can tell Harry already has put himself down enough, I do not want to add this and put him down even more. I usually wouldn't care who I was hurting but when it comes to Harry I care, I care so damn much.

"Yes it is. I'm always fucking things up, Ariana. Don't deny it because you know it's true." His voice is shaky and I feel like my heart just completely dropped. I do not know Harry that well but what I do know is that he is not a fuck up.

"Harry..." I warn, stopping him from playing with my fingers and lift his chin with my free hand to meet his watery eyes. "Don't say that."

"If we would have never met and if I was not here right now this wouldn't have happened. You and Jai would be in a perfect relationship and everything would be fucking normal." He drops my hand and stares out the window.

"Harry, stop. In fact, I don't even think I would be in a relationship with Jai or ever will." I chuckle, ignoring the pain I feel in my heart. "Were just friends."

"It doesn't look like it." Harry says, referring to the night he interrupted us while we were making out. Images of his lips on mine, his hands tightly holding my hips, my tongue playing with the metal on his lip and the few buttons of his shirt unbuttoned flash through my mind.

"Well we are." I confirm, crossing my arms over my chest in a childish manner.

"All I'm saying is that if I wouldn't have interrupted, you would have fuc-" Harry tries to get his point across but I stop him.

"Don't even finish that sentence, Harry." I snap, jabbing a finger onto Harry's chest. He shrugs as if he is saying "I told you so." and slumps back into the drivers seat.

The car goes awfully silent and all I can hear is Harry's heavy breathing and the light droplets of rain falling from the dark cloud above. He brings his lip between his forefinger and his thumb, pulling on his lip and letting it slap back into place before meeting my eyes, with no emotion on his face.