Pretend It's Okay

6 - Coming to the surface

The room was silent for a couple of minutes. Not one of them had mentioned missing the old Little Mix days, it being an unofficially taboo topic. They'd reminisced on funny or emotional memories such as their last show or humorous moments on stage, but that had always been lighthearted. They'd not sat down to have an official discussion on when Little Mix would be brought back because all three women knew it would lead to a huge argument.

Eventually it was Leigh-Anne who decided to speak first. Perrie was looking anxiously at her lap, her hand still resting gently on Jade's knee whilst her other hand was wrapped tightly around her phone. The screen wasn't on and Leigh-Anne recognised that Perrie simply needed her hands to be occupied otherwise she'd be picking at her arm or clothes from her anxiety.

On the other hand Jade was looking straight ahead at the clock, almost like she was timing how long it took for one of the other girls to respond to her. Unlike Perrie her hands were empty and were resting on her lap, Jade's right index finger tapping impatiently on her opposite wrist.

"I miss them too and I'm sure Perrie also does. We had some really good times together, both on tour and in the studio. As you said Jade, we probably got even more hate back then than we do now. Things are better this way for the foreseeable future and we all have exciting projects coming out. The fans are loving three times the content."

Jade scoffed a bit harsher than Leigh-Anne was expecting. Perrie's head shot up to look at the tipsy woman next to her, and from her startled expression Leigh knew that Perrie also hadn't been expecting Jade's reaction.

"I'm not so sure about that Leigh. Back then we didn't have people questioning if we were ever still friends or if we are still friends. Our careers and solo projects weren't being compared like they are now. And have you seen the fans online? For every fan excited for our solo projects there are many more speculating when we'll get back together." Jade bitterly replied, turning to face Leigh directly.

She decided to take a deep breath before responding to Jade, knowing that this was the alcohol talking. Maybe she should have waited until after the pizza arrived to crack it open. Jade ate less when she was stressed, Leigh should have predicted this.

"We've always been compared. This isn't any different, there are just more talking points. And of course we've always been the best of friends. You can blame Jesy for trying to trash that narrative, not me or the hiatus."

Perrie winced a little bit when Leigh mentioned their former band member. None of them had split with Jesy on good terms but at one point it was obvious to everyone that she was the closest to Jesy and because of this she tried the longest to keep everyone happy. She had listened the most to everything drunk and sober Jesy had said, comforted her the most, and behind closed doors took the most verbal abuse.

She was a sensitive topic for all of them for different aspects of her leaving and behaviour, and like the hiatus wasn't mentioned much. Neither Geordie knew how Leigh was brave enough to publicly disagree with what Jesy had been saying about the group and open herself up to so much hate. Perrie had dealt with enough hate for her former relationship and overworked vocals, whilst Jade preferred to be more subtle with her comebacks.

"Yes we've always been the best of friends. So much so that we can't discuss when our hiatus will end, or all get together publicly. It feels like we're drifting apart more and more every day and I don't want to lose us." Jade's voice was raised at this point, not quite shouting but she wasn't far off.

A knock at the door made Perrie jump up instantly, grateful for the excuse to step out of the room for a minute. She'd always been the worst in conflict, the other girls defending her in person when people disrespected her, and was always the first to cry.