Pretend It's Okay

9 - Not okay

Bright sunlight woke Jade up. Even through her closed eyelids it felt like hot knives stabbing behind her eyes. Why hadn't she pulled the curtains? Jade rolled over onto her side to face away from the window. As her face nuzzled into her pillow the scent of vanilla filled her nose. This wasn't what her wash powder smelt like, making Jade realise this is not her bed.

Her eyes flew open as she sat up quickly, identifying that this was not her room and she was not alone. A mess of blonde hair was curled up tightly into the duvet, hair covering her face. Of course it was a blonde, this wasn't a surprise to Jade. If she'd hooked up with a girl then her being anything other than a blonde was strange. This was a huge next step though.

Shifting her gaze from the woman to the room, Jade took in her surroundings. Someone had made an attempt to pull the curtains but both of them must have been too intoxicated to do a decent job. With a skull splitting hangover and no caffeine yet Jade's brain wasn't processing at full speed. It took her longer than she was proud of to recognise the bedroom, sparsely decorated with one person's belongings.

It wasn't any blonde Jade climbed into bed with. It was her favourite blonde. "Fuck!" Jade cursed under her breath. This was a code that she knew she couldn't break. For the good of the band, no matter how strongly she felt about Perrie she couldn't ever be with her. It would have split the band in half eventually, or now be two against a solo Leigh-Anne, which the oldest woman didn't deserve.

She lifted the duvet up to cover herself in case anyone saw her, before realising that she wasn't actually naked. She wasn't wearing last night's clothes either. Perrie must have given Jade a set of her pyjamas to wear. Jade was used to waking up in last night's clothes but Perrie was always conscious of the dirt and germs the outfit would be covered in, and even when drunk would get changed before falling asleep.

Knowing even with her life falling apart and being completely drunk, Perrie still remembered to look after Jade made the older woman's affection grow even stronger. She reached a hand out to stroke Perrie's tangled hair out of her face to get a better look at her. She was still wearing her make up, something that they were always less bothered about as smeared make up wasn't going to make you sick and eventually wash out.

With them both still being dressed and no sign of lipstick kisses on either of their necks, Jade was confident that they'd not had sex or even made out. They must have just gotten very drunk and crashed at Perrie's house. Zack wasn't there to loudly boil the kettle and talk on the phone, pissing Jade off every time she was hungover.

The sensation of her hair being stroked roused Perrie from her deep sleep. Her eyelashes fluttered delicately before flickering open and meeting Jade's. The corner of her mouth raised in a small smile, greeting her best friend without words. Jade smiled back much wider, feeling like a dork but not minding as Perrie always encouraged her. She always made Jade feel empowered.

"That was some night, eh?" Jade joked, Perrie laughing a little before stopping as the sound hurt her head. Jade was already sat up and Perrie wanted to join her so she pushed herself upright and leant her head on Jade's shoulder. The brunette kept playing with Perrie's hair for a minute as the two of them just enjoyed each other's company and the quiet. It didn't last long though before Perrie was scrambling out of bed and ran to her ensuite.

Jade and their other bandmates were very used to this. Whilst Jade had always been very good at handling alcohol and Leigh-Anne hadn't been too bad, Jesy always struggled and Perrie even more so. It was one of the many reasons why Perrie wasn't a big fan of clubs.

Opening the bathroom door Jade was relieved to see that Perrie had made it to the toilet. Many times before one of the girls hadn't made it and it was too early for Jade to face cleaning up such a mess. The blonde was trying to hold her hair back whilst retching, hovering over the toilet as she tried to control her breathing.