Pretend It's Okay

25 - The announcement

Two months later Perrie was sat on the bed in Jade's room, now the room that they share, and scrolled through all of her social media. Being the person who chose this flat and had lived there for so long, naturally Jade had the master bedroom. Most of her things were still in Perrie's bedroom, but the essentials like her pyjamas and hairbrush lived in Jade's bedroom unit.

The whole world knows and Perrie was desperate to see everyone's responses. Not about her and Jade of course, or the Little Mix reunion. No, she had told them about her MS. For two months her and Jade travelled to the hospital every other day for physical therapy, and the media had photographs of every appointment. After the video of Jade having a freak out in the A&E waiting room went viral, and their vague statement did nothing to quell the rumours, every tabloid was fighting each other, eager for even the smallest of scoops on the youngest member.

Images of her underweight, in baggy clothing, clutching onto Jade's arm for stability were all over social media. Perrie in a wheelchair being pushed by Leigh-Anne had made every front page in the country. For three days the world gave them a break when the latest Spice Girls reunion fell apart in flames, and Perrie enjoyed every second of the break, but they were back at it for her next appointment.

All three women agreed that a statement had to be made, and both Columbia and RCA kept calling them and their managers. The increased attention saw all of their solo projects gain many more streams, the temporary hype being profitable for their labels, but the public needed answers before they united behind a harmful rumour.

So Jade and Sam helped Perrie write a speech, the blonde woman preferring to deliver the news in a video to be open and honest with her fans. She decided against wearing any make up but allowed Aaron to do her hair, even letting Jade choose the style because Perrie now knows how much Jade loves her hair. The older woman was always stroking her blonde locks or running her fingers through it, and when she thought no one else was looking at them Jade even nuzzled her face in it, never failing to make Perrie giggle.

Hi, it's Perrie. I'm making this video because I know there have been a lot of rumours and photos of me floating around online, and I know a lot of you are concerned. First I would like to thank every single person who sent me well wishes. I've tried to read them all but there are so many, and you all have made me feel so loved. It means so much to me and really cheered me up when things have been very difficult.

I would also like to dispel all of the rumours, as I haven't seen one that is right. I am not and was not pregnant, I have not had a mental health crisis or an eating disorder, and I do not have cancer. I am not cheating on Alex and he did not cheat on me. We did break up a few months ago but it was neither of our fault. We grew apart after receiving this news, and had different dreams for our futures that no longer matched, and I will never be able to give him the life that he wants. Please do not say anything negative to him, I wish Alex nothing but the best and a happy life, and I have no bad feelings about the split.

Some of the rumours were partially correct. A year ago I was diagnosed with a terminal illness. I have been having some health problems for about five years now but it got worse and I ended up seeing a specialist, who diagnosed me with Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. This was a complete shock to both myself and Alex, because we never thought that I was dying. Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis - I'm just going to call it PPMS from now on as it's a mouthful otherwise - is normally diagnosed in people in their forties, but can still occur in people younger than that, like me. It isn't terminal on its own, but as the brain and nervous system get more damaged it causes other things, like seizures, falls, heart disease, and a reduced immune system, which are fatal. With my other health problems it is unlikely I will make it to 50.