Pretend It's Okay

14 - Time to talk

It was Friday morning when Leigh-Anne called. The weather in London had been matching Jade's mood for the last four days, gloomy and miserable. Dark grey clouds hung in the sky, matching the surrounding skyscrapers and pavements, coating the city in an urban snow. It was bleak and Jade couldn't bring herself to leave the house that morning.

Kevin hadn't scheduled any interviews or performances that Friday, knowing that Jade's voice would need a rest after the long and busy week. The night before Zack had tried to cancel his job for the weekend but Jade refused. She didn't need a babysitter and made him leave. The man wouldn't be back until early on Monday, flying to the US to style a client at a festival.

It was only quarter past ten but the brunette had already cracked open the wine. When she was sober all she thought about was Perrie. What was she doing? Was she okay? Was she in pain? Was she having a panic attack? Jade couldn't bear the thought that she was causing the blonde pain. Drinking distracted her mind from her emotional dilemma.

Why couldn't she just admit her feelings? Surely Perrie would have let her down gently and they would still be friends. Perrie was always the most understanding of the group in that regard, often being the first person one of the other girls would turn to for support or advice. By getting so defensive she had trashed their precious friendship along with her relationship with Leigh-Anne. The older woman was so angry when she hung up the FaceTime. Jade had never seen such rage in her eyes since that livestream. Even then there had been a lot of hurt. Here though there was just rage.

She had texted Claud so many times since she last saw him, part of her not wanting to bother the man but the other part of her had to know if Perrie had spoken to him, if she was okay, and that part of Jade was taking control. When her phone started to ring Jade grabbed it off of the arm of the sofa, desperate for Leigh-Anne to call but expected to be disappointed once again. She was a very popular person and had received so many phone calls in the past four days, each one making her heart race before aching in disappointment. This time though the caller ID lit up with the word 'Leigh' and the brunette almost squealed in delight.

"Hi Leigh." Jade greeted calmly as soon as she accepted the call, the phone not even up to her ear when she started to speak.

"Hello Jade." Leigh-Anne replied, her tone of voice unreadable. This confused Jade and she started to wonder if Leigh-Anne was calling because Claud had made her rather than her being ready. Almost instantly Jade was proven correct, at least partly. "Claud says you won't leave him alone."

"Sorry." Jade blushed. "You know what I'm like when I'm anxious." she heard a faint chuckle on the other side of the line. That was a good sign, right?

"You do have a tendency to spam text, call, and facetime. If we had a bonfire I swear you'd resort to spamming smoke signals if you thought it would work." This made Jade laugh as well. Leigh-Anne wasn't too angry to crack a joke.

"How is she? Claud told me that she had a really bad panic attack, possibly the worst one she's had, and filming had to be extended." Jade began, hoping Leigh-Anne could enlighten her on the situation.

"She's okay. I don't know what happened exactly, Claud won't tell me. To be honest I was hoping you would have some more information. She's definitely keeping secrets." Leigh-Anne was definitely on the same page as Jade now.

"She is hiding something and it has to be major. She hasn't even told Debbie about Alex abandoning her." Jade revealed. A gasp from Leigh-Anne informed Jade that Claud hadn't spilled their entire conversation to the older woman.

"Pez talks to her Mum all of the time. They're so fucking close. How on earth does Debbie not know?!" Leigh exclaimed. Her swear wasn't followed by a quick apology meaning that either Leigh was at work or the twins were at school that morning.