Things took a turn for the worst over the next few days – Andrea received another round of treatment and became very unwell. She developed a nasty chest infection and was admitted to the hospital for IV antibiotics and fluids. She ended up in critical care and they had been warned it may be a few weeks before Andrea was well enough to return home.
Taylor's anxiety was sky high worrying about her Mum. Stress had always made her appetite lessen and considering she didn't even want to eat – it was hard to motivate her to get any food inside of her. She had moved back home – not wanting to stay in her Mum's house alone. She had been visiting the hospital every day and Andrea could see Taylor was fading away quickly.
The eating disorder team had sent over an example of 2 weeks of unique meal plans based on Taylor's weight and test results but her intake had dropped to less than 500 calories a day.
Tree arrived to take Taylor to her doctor's appointment for a 2nd lot of blood tests and for her weight to be monitored but when she got there Taylor refused to go. She knew she had lost more weight and the warning about being admitted to hospital was playing over and over in her head so she decided if she didn't go to the appointment – they couldn't prove she had lost weight and couldn't do anything about it.
Tree tried bargaining with her for over an hour but Taylor vehemently refused – getting to the point where she ignored Tree, rolling over in bed and refusing to speak anymore.
After another 5 minutes of trying to get the blonde to engage with her Tree finally gave up and left. Taylor thought she had won the war but she had no idea what Tree had actually gone to do.
A couple of hours later the redhead reappeared in Taylor's bedroom "are you ready to talk?"
Taylor rolled over, eyeing her suspiciously "talk about what?"
Tree sat down next to her on the bed "I have told you that I will not continue to support your eating disorder. I love you so much and would do anything to help you – you know that. But I am not going to sit by, watching you kill yourself while I act like it isn't happening"
Taylor frowned "I am not killing myself. I have it under control Tree."
The redhead shook her head "No, you do not – and you know it because otherwise you wouldn't be refusing to go to the doctors."
Taylor sighed "I am working on it – I'm trying"
Tree shook her head again "No Taylor. You are not. Now we know that we really wanted to avoid an involuntary admission to treatment but we have to acknowledge that sometimes people have to be forced into it when their life is at risk. I would firmly say you are in that category now Taylor"
Taylor's heart began beating faster – not understanding where this is going "I'm an adult...you can't force me into anything! I have my own life – my own career. I am in control"
Tree smiled softly "Except you really are not in control anymore – your eating disorder is. You need help. You need to seek treatment – proper treatment.."
Taylor interrupted her quickly "I don't have time for treatment! I am back on tour in less than 4 weeks, I need to get into rehearsals – I need-"
Tree put her hands up, stopping the blonde from talking "That's one of the things we need to talk about. I have spoken to the team. We are postponing the tour"
Taylor shot up in bed "You can't do that!"
Tree sat calmly "not alone, no I cant. But I have spoken to your label, your manager, the dancers, your back up singers – the touring company...Every single one of them has agreed to walk off if you do not seek treatment. Right now – there is no tour to walk back to."
Taylor's eyes turned black with rage "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THAT! This is my life, my job!"
Tree nodded, her voice calm – not showing any hint of the panic she was actually feeling "Exactly, this is your life and it is just a job. It is not worth dying for. None of us are willing to do that to you"
Taylor suddenly realised something "So everybody knows?"
Tree nodded "everybody knows. They all agree – a tour is not worth your life and right now – if we let you get back out there, you would end up dead. I have also spoken to your doctors – they agree, they would not let you tour right now. You are too high risk"
Taylor's body slumped back as she realised her world was crumbling around her, her voice came out shaky and scared "I'm not going back on tour..."
Tree squeezed her hand "you're not going back on tour right now. If you get treatment, gain weight, get healthy then we will reschedule it. It is something to work towards"
Taylor's eyes welled up with tears "BUT the contracts – the money – the fans!"
Tree nodded "I know. But that will all be sorted – you don't have to worry about it. But it shows how serious this is, we wouldn't be doing this if we thought that there was any other way. Do you understand?"
Taylor broke down sobbing "everything I have ever worked for is over..."
Tree pulled her into a hug "it's not over. It will be right there – waiting for you when you are healthy. We will all make sure of that. Everyone will understand"
Taylor continued to cry for the next half an hour until Tree calmed her down enough to talk again "now I know you're not going to want to hear this. But I spoke to your doctor. You have two choices. We can either take you in at 5pm today for them to review you – or they will call an ambulance. You will be taken to hospital – admitted into an involuntary psychiatric hold where they will then assess you and plan your care."
Taylor's eyes went wide "Tree, please – you cannot do that. If I go then they will send me to hospital anyway. Please – don't do this "
Tree's eyes welled up with tears "it's already done. If you don't go – you will be admitted. You may as well go – explain what's been happening. See what they say"
Taylor grabbed her hand, squeezing tightly "If I go – you cannot let them send me to hospital. You have to promise"
Tree took a deep breath "I think we need to acknowledge you need some help. There is the hospital, there are some really great treatment centres out there..or I have a third option"
Taylor looked up at her, hope burning in her eyes "what? I will do anything – I don't want to be admitted with a bunch of strangers staring at me all day every day."
Tree gripped both her hands now "There are a few private companies – legit ones – who offer at home treatment. You would have a nurse with you 24/7. You are monitored during meal times. You will see a doctor and dietician weekly. It is essentially a hospital at home"
Taylor began to cry again "I don't want that either – I just want to do it myself!"
Tree shook her head "we are past that point now. You need professional help. Me and your mum – we have tried, but we are failing. They are your three realistic options and the least invase, the most private is to do it at home."
Taylor cried harder "I can't do it!"
Tree hugged tighter "You have no choice. Let's see what the doctor says this evening though, ok?"
Taylor pulled back, looked up at her and sighed "OK."
Taylor slept the afternoon away, Tree woke her up at 4pm "come on honey – let's brush your teeth, brush your hair and wash your face. You can put on a hoodie and some comfy leggings. We need to leave in 30 minutes"
Taylor was groggy but the adrenaline pushed her through. She followed the simple instructions and headed downstairs, trying one more time "Tree, please – can we just do this another day?"
Tree looked at her sadly "Sweetheart – if we don't go, they will send that ambulance. I promise it's all going to be OK"
Taylor reluctantly followed her to the car, the minute they pulled up outside the doctors building Taylor began to hyperventilate "Tree...can't....please"
Tree held both her hands "You're OK. Breathe in, breathe out." They followed this for a few minutes until Taylor had calmed down enough to speak again "I feel like everything is spiralling out of control...like when I walk in that building – it's going to change everything!"
Tree nodded "sometimes change is good. This is a positive step. Now come on, let's be brave for a tiny bit longer"
As soon as they walked in they were immediately taken back to an exam room. As they waited for the doctor to come in Taylor sat there, jiggling her leg anxiously "Tree?"
The redhead turned to her, anxiety all over her own face "yes?"
Taylor looked around, her voice barely a whisper "I've lost more weight. I can tell"
Tree nodded, unsure what to say to comfort the blonde so Taylor carried on "they said if I lost anymore they'd admit me"
Tree nodded again "I know. Look Tay- " at that moment the door opened and the doctor walked in – carefully taking in the appearance of the fragile woman in front of her. Taylor reached out, gripping Tree's hand tightly, squeezing it three times. Tree gave three short squeezes back. I know. I'm here. You're going to be ok.
The doctor smiled kindly at them "Thank you for coming in Taylor, I know it was a difficult decision for you"
Taylor glared at her "You didn't really give me a choice"
The doctor nodded "you're right – it probably feels like you're being backed into a corner here. But it's important to remember this is all for your own good"
Taylor snorted slightly "Yeah – that's what everyone tells me. So what is next?"
The doctor looked at her carefully "I want you to choose to get help"
Taylor's frustration was building now "I'm here aren't i?"
The doctor nodded again "yes – you are. That's a really brave step. Now I think before we speak anymore – let's get an updated weight. I gather it's been a difficult week."
Taylor turned towards Tree, begging her to stop this but Tree squeezed her hand once "go on, you're ok. We need to know this Taylor"
Taylor nodded, hating to make a scene. As she tried to stand her legs were shaking – a mix of exhaustion and anxiety and she dropped back down into the chair. Tree stood to help and between the two women they walked Taylor over to the scales – propping her up.
Taylor turned around and stepped on backwards, they beeped as her weight appeared. Tree glanced around the young woman to peek at the number and the doctor noted it down quickly. Taylor stared straight at Tree "what was it?"
The doctor intercepted "let's get you sat down"
This time they didn't lead her to the chair but the examination couch. Taylor gripped Tree's hand tightly, refusing to let the woman walk away.
The doctor stood close by "Now when we think about admitting somebody – we have to think about consent and capacity. We think about 'do they understand the information and consequences of not receiving treatment', we think 'do they believe the information they are being told?' we think 'can they weigh up the information and make an informed decision' we think 'are they cognitively impaired due to starvation' and finally we think 'are they able to understand the importance of adequate nutrition, threat to life and the need for medical intervention?' Now Taylor – I think when using those criteria – you would not meet them and therefore you do not have capacity regarding your treatment."
Taylor began to cry again – sensing this was going to end with her locked up against her will, she squeezed Tree's hand tighter – a signal for her to step in and help.
Tree turned towards the doctor "So what does this actually mean. What can we do?"
The doctor faced her "Well we have two options – we can apply through the courts to have you admitted involuntarily to the hospital and we will legally have control of your care-" Taylor sobbed hearing this but the doctor pushed through "OR you can appoint a legal guardian. This means you nominate a person who can make decisions around your treatment, including consenting to treatment on your behalf. They will discuss with you and us – to come up with a plan that is best for you"
Taylor began to panic, her voice high pitched "But I still have no choice?!"
Tree looked at her, tears welling in her own eyes now as the Doctor spoke up again "You don't have capacity to make decisions alone. A legal guardian is always a preferable option though – they tend to know you better and can advocate for you more. In a hospital it can be a general plan whereas with a legal guardian – it tends to be more specifically what works for you, we can bend the rules more."
Tree looked at Taylor "I'll do it"
Taylor stared back at her, terror as she knew Tree could be ruthless "No Tree-"
Tree interrupted her quickly though "Your Mum is too poorly. Your dad isn't here. I know you Taylor – I have been through this with you before. I know how much to push you and when to let you pause. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt or distress you."
The doctor interrupted the silence "it sounds like a great option"
Taylor turned to them both, tears in her eyes "I want to make my own choices. I want to plan my own care. I don't want to have to go off of what everyone else wants me to do"
Tree was about to try and rationalise with her but the doctor interrupted again "we are way beyond that point Taylor. Making your own decisions is an option you no longer have. Your two choices are to be admitted by me into the hospital today or to appoint Tree as your health guardian and we can work together to develop a plan"
Taylor looked at Tree – desperation in her voice "you won't put me in the hospital?"
Tree looked at her kindly "I will do whatever I can to prevent that. We will try the at home treatment first. We will work together to get you well."
Taylor cried harder, sobs wracking her body until finally she looked up "OK, let's do this."
