I can do it with a broken heart

Chapter 14

Taylor was led to the ward and taken to a side room. The door was shut and the doctor tried to lead Taylor to sit on the bed but she was too fired up, she began to pace, tugging at her hair anxiously. She looked at the doctor "I want a new medical guardian...I don't trust her judgement!"

The doctor smiled sympathetically towards her "we can absolutely look into reviewing that but if I am 100% honest with you now Taylor – even if Tree had not agreed, we would have gone through the courts and we would have still admitted you, so changing your medical guardian would make no difference. If you wanted to hand over that control to us, we are happy for that to go ahead – but generally a medical guardian is a much kinder option, that person knows you well and can take your likes and dislikes into consideration. They are there to advocate for you. So whilst you are within your right to have it reviewed if you truly do not feel that Tree is the right person for that, I would suggest that this is probably just anxiety talking right now and the outcome would be no different – except you will have even less control so I would think very carefully before making any decisions"

Taylor was wracked with a fresh round of sobs, finally collapsing onto the bed. She looked up "please, I just want to go home. I'll try harder" The nurse sat down next to her "it wouldn't be safe for you to leave now"

Taylor looked at the nurse, tears spilling freely "she lied to me. I was coming to see my Mum! She lied and now I'm here!" The nurse squeezed her hand gently "that must be very hard, but we are here to help". Taylor cried harder "Please – just let me call my Mum", the doctor hesitated but then agreed "Now I know it feels like you have been ambushed so we will let you speak to her, just for 5 minutes. OK?" Taylor nodded gratefully as they fetched a phone for her to use, she rung her mum's mobile. Andrea answered immediately – knowing it would be Taylor "Hi Darling", hearing the familiar voice made Taylor cry harder, she couldn't physically speak and Andrea listened helplessly to the sobs down the phone "it's ok darling, I know it's overwhelming right now – but you are going to get better." Taylor shook her head even though Andrea couldn't see her, she managed to squeeze out a few words "she lied and I'm stuck here".

"I know – but it was for your own good, now you have no choice but to recover and we will all be cheering you on. As soon as I'm out of here I'll come and see you, OK?" Taylor's sobs continued "I want to go home, I want to recover at home!" Andrea cooed down the phone "I know – and you will but right now, they just need to make sure you're safe. You were getting worse, Tree had no choice" Taylor's rage fired up again "She LIED! She tricked me" Andrea's voice was firm now "She did it because she had no other option, we all agreed it was for the best. You have been lying to us non stop for months about eating. This was a lie to help. I know it feels awful right now – but I promise, this is for the best". The doctor made Taylor hang up – promising her they could speak again soon.

The doctor stared down at her sympathetically "you have arrived in time for breakfast, now I understand it's all overwhelming – so just for this meal you can eat in your room. From lunchtime you can eat in the dining room with everyone else" Taylor's head shot up "I ate already" The doctor smiled "A banana – well half a banana. I know. But we are starting your meal plan right away. So we have the rest of the food ready for you. Once you've eaten, we will go over the rules and schedule. I'll be back later"

Just like that – he walked out, leaving Taylor alone with the nurse who quickly went to get her breakfast. Taylor stood up as she re-entered the room, refusing to sit down on the bed near the food. The nurse tried everything to get her to sit but Taylor refused, pacing the room like a caged tiger. After 30 minutes of solid refusal the nurse tried again "this is your last chance, if you have more than 3 unsuccessful meals and uncompleted snacks - they will tube feed you. Do you want to give breakfast a try?" Taylor's eyes burned with rage "No. I do not want to give breakfast a try – I already had breakfast, at my house – where I want to be!" The nurse shrugged, a sympathetic smile on her face "Ok, I'll log it down". As the nurse scribbled in Taylor's paperwork, the blonde's heart clenched. She was so used to being a 'good girl', doing what she was told. The outright rebellion embarrassed her but she couldn't give up – couldn't give in to them.