D'Beasts Series #4: Ceasing the Rivalry

IKALIMA

Malakas masyado ang loob ng lalaking ito para magbigay pa ng kondisyon para lang sa mga recipes na hinihingi ko. Kung tutuusin, puwede ko naman sigurong mahanap ang mga iyon kung saan-saang sites dahil may internet naman. All I have to do is just taste the food and nothing more. After all, we can still figure out the ingredients without his help. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ba pumasok pa sa isip kong hingiin ito sa kaniya. Nagkaroon pa tuloy siya ng dahilan para sa kung ano-anong mga kondisyon.

“You think I’ll buy that? Sa iyo na ang mga recipes mo pati ang kondisyon mong hindi naman ako interesadong marinig,” I smirked and continued eating like no one’s in front of me.

Hindi kaagad siya nakapagsalita kaya kinuha ko ang pagkakataong iyon para kuhanin sa bulsa ko ang kapiraso ng papel at isang ball pen. I tried to jot down all the possible ingredients on my first attempt at eating Indian food. In this pyramid of flaky pastry, I can taste a lot of spices. I can definitely taste cumin seeds or powder; I don’t know. There’s also a hint of turmeric. Sure, it has potatoes in it and maybe some peas. I’ll be needing the internet just to make sure it’s right, though.

“What are you doing?” he asked with confusion while scanning the paper at the table.

“Nagsusulat. Ano ba sa tingin mo?” sarkastikong sagot ko naman. “Hindi ko na kailangan ng mga recipes mo. I think I can handle all these.”

He sighed and massaged his temple. “You’re really stubborn, huh? Look, it’s not just about the damn recipes. I really need help.”

“Call 911, then,” pang-aasar ko.

Ano ba naman kasing klaseng tulong ang kakailanganin niya sa akin? I know nothing about him. Hindi na naman kami close para humingi pa siya sa akin ng tulong tungkol sa kung ano. At saka, sa talino niyang iyan, talagang manghihingi pa siya ng tulong ko?

“Seven, this is about Wesley…”

My jaw almost dropped after I heard Wesley’s name from him for the first time. What about him? Close pa rin ba sila kagaya ng dati? Anong mayroon sa kaniya? I haven’t seen him in so long, and I almost forgot his features. Lalo pa at hindi naman kami naging close noon.

“Do you still remember him?” he added.

“How will I forget? One Friday afternoon, around five or six in the evening, you two kissed in front of me,” I said with a hint of bitterness.

Great. Mahigit dalawang taon kaming walang communication at all and yet ito kaagad ang magiging topic ng conversation namin. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit kailangan niya pang banggitin sa akin si Wesley matapos ang nangyari. Ano ngayon kung naaalala ko pa? Gusto niya bang kalimutan ko na nang tuluyan? I’m amazed by how he still remembers Wesley like I do. Nagkita na ba ulit sila? O baka naman hindi talaga kailanman naputol ang ugnayan nilang dalawa. Who knows? Maybe they’re already in a relationship after all those years.

“I know you’re still mad about it. Pero lulunukin ko na ang pride ko para lang tulungan mo ako. I know you already heard from your staff that I went to Triple 8 because I wanted to talk to you. Yes, I wronged you, and I’m deeply sorry. But… You might want to help, knowing it’s not just about me but also Wesley.”

“Why can’t you just tell it to me directly? Anong kinalaman ni Wesley sa kondisyon o kung ano mang tulong na kailangan mo?” naguguluhang tanong ko.

He sighed once more and looked me in the eyes. “Wesley and I became friends after you and I parted ways. I transferred to a different school, but he followed me just so I could have a friend at my new school. Things were really hard for me during those times. My parents’ businesses were failing to the point that they had to transfer me to a public school to lessen the expenses. I was very miserable, lalo na nang pati ang nag-iisang best friend ko ay nawala rin sa akin. As much as I wanted to talk to you and apologize, I ran out of time. Because the day you ended our friendship was my last day at that school.”

Kung ganoon, totoo nga ang ilang usap-usapan noon na umalis siya ng school. But I didn’t know that Wesley had become his friend. They must be so close that they both transferred to the same school. Good for him; at least he didn’t spend his remaining months in senior high school alone, unlike me, who was all alone when he left.

“And then we got into college. We picked the same school too, and it’s totally fine to me. He’s a good person and fun to be with. But not until he confessed that he liked me… more than friends.”

Hindi na dapat ako magtaka pero aaminin kong nagulat ako kahit pa inaasahan ko nang mangyari ang ganoon. Naaalala ko pa ang bawat munting sulyap ni Wesley noon kay Chase, bawat matatamis na ngiti, lahat ng iyon ay nasaksihan ko habang mag-isang nakatanaw sa kanila noon. Pakiramdam ko ay hindi lang ako nawalan ng kaibigan, nawalan din ako ng pag-asa sa taong nagugustuhan ko. Noon pa man, alam kong maaaring gusto nga ni Wesley si Chase. Pero kung anong nararamdaman ni Chase, iyon ang hindi ko alam. I don’t know if he’s into men too. All I know is that, whatever I do, hindi ako kailanman sasapat para mapantayan siya at magustuhan din ni Wesley. I was just Chase’s shadow. Kasama niya ako pero hindi ako nakikita.

I blinked twice as the memories faded from my mind. “That has nothing to do with me.”

“I know you liked him before, and I’m assuming you still like him now. It’s just two damn years. Two years have passed, and I-I still don’t like him romantically.”

I chuckled with sarcasm at it. “And what do you want me to do then?”

“I don’t know. Court him? Make him fall in love with you? Hindi ba ay iyan naman ang gusto mong mangyari noon? You can try it now, and I’ll be glad to help you just so he can forget his feelings towards me because I will never like him more than friends.”

Mas lalo akong nagulat sa naging rason niya. Hindi ko alam kung ginagawa niya ba ito dahil alam niyang gusto ko si Wesley o para lang hindi na niya kailangan pang mang-reject at magmukhang masama sa paningin nito. He’s being complicated.

“Nababaliw ka na ba? Problema niyong dalawa iyan kaya huwag niyo na akong idamay. At saka, bakit mo naman ipapasa pabalik sa akin ang inagaw mo noon?”

“Wala akong inagaw. Wesley and I were just really friends, nothing more.”

“Friends don’t kiss!” I hissed.

“I know, Seven. I didn’t initiated that kiss, it was him. I thought it was just nothing, not until he became very vocal about his feelings,” may bahid ng disappoinment na aniya. “Please trust me. This will help not only me, but also you. If you think about it, it is a win-win situation for the both of us.”

“No. If you don’t like him, tell him straight in the face,” pagtaliwas ko sa paliwanag niya.

I’m just not agreeing with whatever his plan is. I wish I just went home so we wouldn’t be having these conversations. Aaminin kong bahagya akong nasaktan nang malaman kong naging sobrang close sila sa isa’t-isa. Hindi dahil gusto ko pa rin hanggang ngayon si Wesley, kung hindi dahil pakiramdam ko, tuluyan na talagang napalitan ang papel ko sa buhay ni Chase.

“We’re friends. I just can’t reject and hurt him. Kilala mo ako, Seven. The least I would do is hurt people. Natuto na rin ako sa pagkakamali ko noon. I don’t want to lose a friend again this time. I don’t want to lose him…”

“Kaya ayos lang sa iyong gamitin ako at gawin ang mga gusto mo para hindi masira ang pagkakaibigan niyo? Para magmukhang kang mabait sa paningin niya? But how about me? Talaga palang wala na lang ako sa iyo. You know what? Even though I hate you, the back of my mind still thought that you wanted to talk to me because you wanted us to be friends again, but I was so wrong.”

“S-Seven, no, please don’t think that way. I’m also doing this because I want to give back the things you thought I stole from you. Gusto kong patunayan sa iyo na kahit kailan hindi ko ginustong lamangan ka, hindi ko ginustong isipin mong kinuha ko sa iyo ang lahat. Mahalaga ka sa akin at—”

“I don’t want to hear any of your fucking excuses and explanations. I’ve had enough. Just leave me alone. Huwag kang mag-alala, I’ll do what you want. I’ll make sure he’ll fall in love with me over and over until he forgets your existence. Magsisisi kang nakiusap ka pa sa akin ng ganito, Dion.”