Mohini- Rise Of Queen

80. Breaking Shackles

Mohini POV 

Things have been easier slightly these past few days for me. 

There is still pressure on my mental state whenever I am alone but Raja-sa never leaves me alone. 

Either he is there or Swati. 

I can only tolerate Raja-sa's touch because his presence and touch soothes my soul. 

Whereas for others, I maintain a much needed distance from them still. 

Just being close to them makes me feel that I am trapped in that small body and makes it difficult for me to breathe. 

I don't even go close to Bapusaa, I touch his feet from a distance and without even asking his eyes show understanding. 

I don't panic when females approach anymore. 

I still have nightmare but it isn't every night that I get the nightmare. 

If I am with Raja-sa then he always diverts my mind because my alone mind always wanders to that ambush day which he doesn't let it happen. 

The only problem which bothers and guilts me is our intimacy. 

Whenever he gets too intimate my mind shuts down and my body goes rigid, rejecting his touch. 

Seeing the pain and hurt in his eyes makes me feel so guilty but he doesn't forces me at all. 

He just sits with me and soothes me by holding me close to him. 

Sometimes he talks about my passion about the medicine. 

Right now, Naina, Avantika, Swati and me are going through the list of gifts. 

Raja-sa didn't tell me where these are going he just told me to prepare the gifts for the kingdom. 

And the kingdom is in very close relationship with them. 

So like the queen that I am of Suryagarh I am preparing it and making sure nothing is left. 

It is for marriage of the Crown Prince of there. 

So I don't want anything to lack in what we are sending. 

While arranging the gifts with the attendees and going over them, Naina sneaks some almonds and give some to Swati. 

They secretively smile at each other and eat it then hide their face with their hands to hide their chewing. 

Naina looks at me and I raise an eyebrow indicating that I am observing everything. 

She pouts and keeps the almond back which was in her hand. 

Swati nudges her for more but she indicates over to me. 

And when Swati sees my expression, she flushes guiltily. 

I shake my hand at their childish behaviour and look at Avantika signing with Swati translating, 

'Handle the dry fruits or there will be nothing left for us to send to the marriage.' 

Swati pouts and pretends to act dejected after translating, similar to Naina. 

While Avantika laughs and changes her position with them. 

We go over the things for last time on my lists then send the attendee to prepare it for sending these. 

They all rise and take my leave while the three girls of mine sit there. 

Avantika asks me with a warm smile,