Mohini- Rise Of Queen

88. Shattered

Mohini POV 

I look down at my hand bound. 

Totally mute this time, it hurts more than his cruel words. 

That incident didn't made me mute, but his actions sure did. 

He shut me up like this, which is so heart wrenching. 

He didn't even gave me a chance to explain myself. 

I understand that he must be in so much pain after finding out the truth from someone else. 

Bhau was right, I should have told Raja-sa everything, that way maybe he could have understood everything. 

I am sure that Sripad Rao must have lead him wrong path during his truth telling session. 

After he left me here like this, tears after tears start rolling down my ears. 

My heart busting with pain in his eyes, and more so learning that I was the first woman who made him open his heart. 

What I want to give to go back to the time when we were in the pond enjoying each other. 

But more than that it pained me that he shut me up like this. 

I know he is hurt but this is so wrong, and I know he did this so he can hurt me back for hurting him. 

He didn't tell me what Sripad Rao told him but I have an inkling that there was many lies involved in there. 

I look at my bound hands as my heart breaks again and sobs wrack my whole body. 

I don't know if we will come back from this or not. 

Or Raja-sa will leave me forever. 

I know one thing for sure that I can't leave him. 

I look again at my hands and slap myself with them, crying and blaming myself for losing Raja-sa. 

I cry like I have never cried before, grasping that I can't have him now. 

I slid to the floor while crying as I think that he will never see me with love and warmth, his eyes will always carry disgust, hate and anger for me. 

He won't smile at me, he will rather sneer or curl his lip in disgust. 

He won't take care of me like he used to do, he now will not even bother himself with me. 

I cry my heart out and so much that it even pains me to draw even a breath. 

I thump my forehead with my bound hands, blaming myself again and again. 

A sudden gasp interrupts me and with blurry vision with tears, I turn to look at Swati. 

She rushes to me and starts opening my hands. 

It was so tight that it had left its print on my wrist. 

She wipes off my tears and I am sure my eyes are all puffy and red with all crying. 

She looks at me worriedly as she looks over at me to check that I am unharmed. 

She can't see the wounds. 

Because I am not hurt physically, wounds are on my soul, who nobody can see other than me. 

Wounds so deep that I don't think that it will ever be healed. 

Wounds so toxic that it makes me feel dying right now. 

It is taking me back to those dark spaces of my mind which I escaped with Raja-sa's help.