ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪꜱᴄᴏɴᴛɪɴᴜᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴜꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ꜱᴍᴀʟʟ ᴛʀᴀɢᴇᴅɪᴇꜱ

they say only god knows, but a merciful god would tell me

they say only god knows, but a merciful god would tell me

questions of unspecified ethics
are consuming me
eating away at my bleak and rotten heart

why can't i feel?
what's wrong with me?
and, perhaps most importantly
are you my punishment?

i scream these questions out
over and over
louder and louder

i yell and i cry and i curse
i curse until my throat is numb
i yell until my mouth is rotted
i cry until my eyes practically fall out of my skull

i scream
and i scream
and i scream

and when i finally stop
my vocal cords are stained black
rotting
disintegrating inside of me
allowing the outside
to once again match the in

the repetition
the begging
the earth shattering cries of a lost soul
it didn't work
it never dose anyway

so i prey

i worship
i hope
i plead

yet God remains silent
mocking me