p.sunghoon → f.y.b.f.

40

→ THE EARLY MORNING

It was dark outside, no doubt.

The blinds were all open, but despite that, there was absolutely no light present in my room.

Sunghoon nudged me slightly, trying his best to wake me up gently.

I opened my eyes, he brought his phone up to illuminate us faintly.

"I'm going now." From his voice, it was clear he didn't want to leave, but he had no other choice, he couldn't just abandon his band and his fans.

"Oh, yeah, forgot about that." I gave a small sigh, disappointed at his quick stay. Though, I couldn't really complain, because he could've not came at all.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to go either." He had a small croak in his voice, and from the little light coming from his homescreen, I could faintly see the features of his face.

I gave a sigh, the atmosphere in the room rather sullen.

"It's okay, I get it." I managed to throw out a quiet chuckle, trying to hide my disappointment with an optimistic approach.

"Please don't block me again, I don't have time to be going back and forth between countries." His hand softly trailed across the soft skin of my cheek, his hands were warm, and my cheeks were cold.

"Don't be saying dumb shit, and maybe you won't." I responded, and he let out a quiet, gingerly chuckle.

"Yes ma'am. I'll watch my words from now on." Sunghoon was trying his best to cheer me up, I could tell, but honestly, I knew that the second I wake up again after he leaves, the dread will settle in once more.

Sure, it's only two weeks, but the guy is literally like an addiction, no matter what, I'll always run back to him, and then I'll find myself attached to him.

"Go on, don't stall time for too long." I told him, a sigh leaving my lips as he gave one too. He retract his hand from my face, sitting up and putting his shirt on, then his hoodie.

He tried to get ready as quick as possible, just so he could spend more time with me.

After preparing his small clutch bag with his passport and all the stuff he needed for his short journey, he came back over to the bedroom, turning on a small, mellow lamp that gave out a golden, dim light.

Sunghoon laid down beside me, resting his head somewhat on my chest. He stared into space, just thinking to himself.

"What's the real reason you broke up with Jungwoo?" Sunghoon suddenly inquired out of nowhere.

"The real reason? Didn't I already tell you this?" I furrowed my brows slightly, in confusion.

"So you left him because he was boring and you didn't love him anymore?" Sunghoon didn't believe my words, and that had me thinking.

"Well.. yeah.."

"So hypothetically, if I never found you again, you would've broken up with him regardless?" Sunghoon posed a question that had me deeping my life all over again.

I thought for longer than I anticipated, and he was right.

Would I have been still with Jungwoo if Sunghoon had never shown up in my life?

Holy shit, no fucking way.

I'm pretty sure I left Jungwoo because I want to be with Sunghoon.

"Rethinking your words?" Sunghoon read my mind in an instant, and I could only manage to give out a chuckle of disbelief.

"Jesus it's too early for these thoughts." I rubbed my head with a small smile on my face, knowing fine well the answer was always Sunghoon.

Sunghoon gave a momentary laughter, looking up at me, the stars in his eyes returning. Here he was, the warm man that I've always known my whole life. He's the same boy I used to hide in the toilets with to hide from teachers, same boy I used to laugh with twenty-four-seven.

"You and I both know the answer Nari." Sunghoon had no right to sound this fine right now, I was barely able to contain myself.

"So? What will you do Sunghoon, me and you live in two different worlds." A salty, short chuckle managed to escape my lips.

I ran my fingers through his hair as he sighed, knowing I was fully right.

He was an idol, and I was just an ordinary girl. I had no awareness of how idol life was like, nor how the media will react if he comes out with a girlfriend.

"I know." Sunghoon still had a hint of hope in his tone, "Nari, I'll promise you this. One day, you will be my girlfriend."

The familiar beating of my heart returned, this time, with a much stronger pulse. His words seemed to just made me fold over and over, til I literally cannot even function anymore

"I wonder when this, 'one day', will be." I tried to seem optimistic about this thing Sunghoon promised me, but honestly, I had my doubts.

"Just be patient with me." Sunghoon lift his head up from my chest, gazing into my eyes intently, he checked his phone, and then his expression grew a little melancholic, "I have to leave."

I nodded my head, disappointed, but understanding.

"Yeah.. Have a safe flight, and don't seem too mad at your concerts." I lightened the mood slightly, Sunghoon gave a chuckle.

He leant in, placing a sweet kiss on my lips, before he uttered the words I literally would've never thought to have heard from him.

"I love you Nari, stay safe." He didn't even allow me to have time to respond, or process his words with him in the room, he simply got up and left, leaving me with an aching heart and a confused mind.