Partners in Crime

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A familiar ginger, a familiar voice, and a familiar blonde all come in here. ;)

Ladies and gentlemen, here's "Partners in Crime!"

***

A ginger woman walked down a busy street up to Adipose Industries, dressed in a suit, her heels clicking on the pavement as she walked up to the front entrance.

***

Heels were clicking again on a different street, but they were coming from cowboy boots. Another ginger, her hair in fishtail braids, snuck back into an alley, not bothering to check her surroundings before sneaking in.

***

Donna Noble checked in with a security guard and showed her ID. "Donna Noble, Health and Safety," she said before going into a lift.

***

The now ginger Apocalypse sonicked open the fire escape and slipped inside, taking her white cardigan off and slinging it over her arm. She fished in her pocket for her psychic paper as she walked down the basement, and she smiled brightly at a passing guard, showing her psychic paper. "Caly Saxon, Health and Safety," she said before going further on.

***

"Adipose Industries, the 21st century way to lose weight," Miss Foster was saying as Donna sat back to listen to her presentation. "No exercise, no diet, no pain. Just lifelong freedom from fat. The Holy Grail of the modern age, and here it is." She held up one of the Adipose pills. "You just take one capsule. One capsule once a day for three weeks, and the fat, as they say - "

"The fat just walks away," the film behind her said.

"Excuse me, Miss Foster, if I could?" one of the reporters asked, raising her hand. "I'm Penny Carter, science correspondent for The Observer. There are a thousand diet pills on the market, a thousand con men stealing people's money. How do we know the fat isn't going straight into your bank account?"

"Oh, Penny," Miss Foster sighed as Donna raised an eyebrow. "If cynicism burnt up calories, we'd all be as thin as rakes. But, if you want the science, I can oblige."

***

From the projection room, the Apocalypse leaned forward, watching the presentation go. "Adipose Industries. The Adipose capsule is composed of a synthesized mobilizing lipase, bound to a large protein molecule. The mobilizing lipase breaks up the triglycerides stored in the adipose cells, which then enter - "

The Apocalypse caught someone looking at her, and she held up her psychic paper. "Health and Safety," she said, then winced. "Film department," she added lamely.

***

"One hundred percent legal, one hundred percent effective," Miss Foster smiled.

"But, can I just ask, how many people have taken the pills to date?" Penny asked.

"We've already got one million customers within the Greater London area alone, but from next week, we start rolling out nationwide," Miss Foster answered. "The future starts here, and Britain will be thin."

"Brilliant," the Apocalypse muttered.

***

"That's a three week course of pills for a special price of forty five pounds," a man was saying in the call center when Donna crept up.

"Donna Noble, Health and Safety," she said as she sat down by him. "Don't mind me."

***

"We deliver within three working days," a young woman was going on when the Apocalypse sat down.

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