ALONE (Nymfia's dairy)

3

Being alone is comforting.

It's been almost 3 years.

To be honest I only care about myself.

I know my roommate has problems. 3 years ago, I would have done something about it.

I know joking about ghosting her was bad but it just me reminding her the type of person I am.

Which is better? To just lead her along making it seems as if it's a forever thing or warning her about how I feel and what my motives are.

You tell me. Would you rather i fake it?

I think I am brutally honest because I told her since we met.

That was just a reminder in case she was enjoying it too much. She may have forgotten.

I never said I was a good person. Claiming to be a good person would seem like I am simply playing a victim in a crime I willingly committed.

I despise people who do that.

I don't hide who I am.

people who hide are ones who know they have a problem.

I am better than that.

Rationally speaking my habit is considered a problem.

I don't think it. It's why I don't hide it.

I show it. Embrace it. Accept it. I romanticize it.

It's something I am not afraid of anymore.

I hated this part of me when I couldn't understand it.

I desperately tried shoving it under so no one saw.

I thought I was a monster.

I know I may not look like one.

But It felt like I was a problem.

I pity myself for not accepting this voice inside when all it was doing was trying to save me.

I feared something I shouldn't have and for what?

when I finally let it come out. I realized how starved I'd been.

It's like I was so hungry and now I taste the sweetness.

I should've never abandoned this part of me. I won't ever abandon me again