ALONE (Nymfia's dairy)

11

My roommate is sweet.

I know she wants us to last but I hate the fact that a part of me is starting to get used to the idea.

I don't want these new feelings.

I don't want the new thoughts either.

We do match in many ways but that's only because I am hiding a big secret.

Something that she won't except.

We are similar yes but our minds barley think alike.

I disagree with what she disagree with or just keep a very neutral ground.

I internally laugh when she says some things.

I whisper to myself. "if only you know what I am"

Our friendship must end.

Or be on a break.

I know what she wants, and I am not on the same page.

It's uncomfortable how far all of this has come but then again, I live with her.

It's been three months of course somethings had to happen.

That doesn't mean I want any of it to last.

Call me rude. Evil or whatever.

I don't mind the insults.

I just want my life back.

Not some fantasy world I keep up with just because I live with another person.

I do admit I slipped here and there. I am human.

But I don't want to keep slipping till it all starts becoming normal to me.

This isn't normal.

I am not normal.

what is abnormal should remain abnormal.

I want my alone back.

I am weaker when I am not alone.

Speaking when I am not spoken to is enough proof.