ALONE (Nymfia's dairy)

24

I think about how it would feel like to get rid of emotions.

It's something that makes us human.

I don't think you would feel like anything.

Once it's gone it's gone.

You wouldn't feel sad.

You got rid of everything in you.

 you forbid yourself from feeling anything.

You convince yourself you are not human.

I don't want to do that to myself.

I want to feel everything in small quantities.

I don't want another human to be the reason of my happiness or sadness.

Everything I feel should come from me or random things.

Movies, tv shows and stories.

Things like that.

Once it comes from someone it's uncomfortable.

It's scares me.

I know that something is terribly wrong.

I want to run away all over again.

It means this person has full control of my emotions.

It means this person affected me.

I allowed myself to fall into their hands.

now I have expectations. 

it's really bad to have expectations.

Now I know I am frail.

A fool.

A piece of shit.