Lestappen : As Long As We're Together

Miami Grand Prix

MAX

Charles lay down on what used to be Danny's bed and it was weird. This room being Charles' now. We'd spent all our off time together, but training had been extremely intensive recently. With the new upgrades and everything we had to train harder. Especially since they were heavier.

Lando quirked his eyebrows at my hickey and I glared at him. He put his hands up in surrender, shoulders shaking in laughter. Horner looked on in disapproval. I showed up to practise five minutes late once, my dad yelled at me for an hour after. It would all get a lot, but at the end of the day, Charles and I would lay down on my bed and he'd stroke my hair, whispering mindless things to me, and it would be easier. It would be better.

We slowly fit into that. We'd sleep late and wake up too early, Charles always waking me up with a kiss. It was comfortable. Until I noticed that I always fell asleep before Charles did. Until I noticed he always woke up before I did. Until eyebags appeared under his eyes and he looked sadder than he'd look in a while.

Until the Miami Grand Prix. He was paraded around in his blue gear and forced to promote the livery when no one noticed that he was half dead.

"Charles, sleep." I'd almost beg him every night, but he'd shrug me off.
"I just need to do something first." Or, "One minute, babe." Or, "I promise I will, good night, Max." And then he'd cut the phone call and show up with darker circles under his eyes.

His cheekbones became more prominent and his eyes were sunken.

The day of the race I got into the car, buzzing with energy, ready with my training. Somewhere around Lap 46 the safety car was deployed and then there was a red flag, "what happened?"
"High speed crash." Came the reply.
I looked and there was only one scarlet car behind me. No. "Who?"
"Leclerc."

Lando won and I came second. My father tried to stop me to yell at me but I shrugged him off. In the replay everything had been going fine and then his head snapped back and he lost control of the car, sending it into the barrier. Before anyone could stop me, I made my way to the hospital.

No one stopped me as I made my way to his room. No one stopped me when I barged in. My boyfriend was resting on a bed, attached to an IV.

"What happened, Charles?" I asked.
"I don't know . . ." He shook his head, wincing, "One minute I was fine and then it went dark."
"Charles, I'm going to ask you two questions and you have to answer them honestly, okay?"
"Okay."
"How much have you been sleeping?"
"Two hours." He wouldn't meet my eyes, "Sometimes less."
"And what have you eaten all week?"
He looked down at his hands, "I've missed a few meals. . . They wouldn't go down."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want to be a burden."
"Charles, your health and safety will never be a burden." He still wouldn't meet my eyes, "Look at me, Charles," He dragged his eyes to mine, "You matter more than anything else in this whole fucking world, got it?"
"I'm sorry."

Charles had a concussion so he had to stay overnight at the hospital. I stayed in the plastic chair near his bed, holding his hand as he slept, his hold occasionally tightening, but loosening again. I didn't understand why Charles could eat and sleep when we were together but not apart and I swore to myself to never leave him alone if I thought something was going wrong.

The internet was full of articles about my 'horrid behaviour' and my 'disrespect', but my PR released a statement I barely read through and it worked well. Charles was discharged the following day, but not before his mom called him, cried over him and then scolded him.

I took the prescriptions the doctor gave and put Charles in the car, "Are you okay?" I asked, softly.
"Yeah."
"Then I can yell at you." I was upset, "How dare you think your health doesn't matter! How dare you not tell me anything! Charles, you're lucky you got off with a concussion because you could have died!"
He didn't say anything, looking down at his hands, nervously fidgeting. After a while he said, "Are you going to break up with me?" He looked at me with sad eyes.
"I will never, till the day I die and after, break up with you. I'm just worried because the love of my life was in a crash that could have ended in death."