Do you ever get those times where all you really want to do is be alone and cry? I do. It hadn’t really happened before, until I got here. There isn’t really a reason for it, more just a way of streaming my emotions. But I haven’t been able to do that yet anyway. I’m never really alone in my room, or anywhere else. The only time I even have a vague opportunity is at night, but sleep hits me like a brick and I’m gone.
I’m fairly sure almost everyone knows about Tahnee now. I think I’m talking about myself too much. I know that other people have it a lot worse than me. I’m not sure what I’m going to do tomorrow with leading tomorrow. I didn’t talk to her today at breakfast. It’s not a good feeling. And people may have it worse off but being ignored by someone you care about is one of the things I hate most about this world. Because when someone takes over your life without even trying to, and then one little piece of gossip gets out and ruins everything, it hurts. People exaggerate those things but I’m telling it how it is. And it really isn’t any fun.
And I look out the window and everything is different and just wrong. It’s not the feeling of missing my family; it’s the fact that nothing is familiar. I haven’t told this to anyone. I know I should but I’m not going to. The only thing I can do is wait. Wait until I get home and let everything that is familiar sink in and fall back into my usual pathetic self-obsessed life. At least I have a pencil and paper and time to write. Even if it isn’t as peaceful as I would like it, at least I have it.
-Anonymous
