I know, I didn’t write anything on Sunday night. It really wasn’t as much of a big deal as I was expecting. We didn’t say anything to each other, and we basically just ignored each other the whole time. The only bad thing was the fact that I had no friends there whatsoever, so I was a little left out.
But then Monday was a different story. I went to the movies with Leah, and I was expecting it to be really good. It was meant to just be her and two of her friends, but of course nothing ever goes the way it’s planned and we ran into one of Leah’s “friends”. In other words someone she pretends to be friends with, who isn’t particularly nice. So that ruined it. We had everything planned out. This might sound really pathetic but she was going to lean on me and we could just be comfortable and watch the movie but thanks to this other bitch that decided to show up and get in the way, Leah changed her mind and just left it as it was. We did have a couple of really good conversations. There were only really two good opportunities, but I’m falling harder for her with every minute that we talk. She keeps saying she hates herself and I don’t see why. She’s perfect. I’m really worried about her. She hasn’t seemed herself for the last couple of days and I don’t know what’s wrong. It could just be the fact that she’s going to China in about 48 hours, and I hope it is.
Everything’s really different though. I went out with a few of my closer friends today, and of course we managed to run into my ex, of all people. I was actually so close to just leaving as soon as I saw her. I don’t care that she doesn’t talk to me, I just care that she was there, and I don’t see how it could have been by accident. Somehow I don’t think we’re ever going to be friends again, and I don’t know how she feels about that, but I honestly couldn’t care less. That’s all I have to say on the topic.
I know that Leah’s leaving in two days, and this is going to sound really selfish, but I don’t want her to go. I mean, I know she’s going to have an amazing time, and probably won’t even have much of a chance to think about me, let alone email me while she’s there, but I’m going to miss her so much. She means a lot more to me than she expects probably. I feel like I’m not good enough for her. She’s just so amazing, and beautiful and she just makes me feel so good about myself, and I just feel like it’s going to last. Then again that’s what I thought about my last one. I’m a little bit worried about how she’ll go with not falling for anyone else while she’s in China. I mean, it’s five whole weeks, and I’m not exactly anyone that special. I really hope she doesn’t decide that there’s someone else there that’s better than me. I really do.
-Anonymous
