I don’t know if she likes me or not. She talks to me without prompting, some of the time. But Annie says she doesn’t like me. Then again that’s coming from Annie so who knows. I suspect Bailey doesn’t like me though, considering that she talks to me the same way as she talks to all of her other friends. But I can always hope. My problem is that if I just go for it and she rejects me, I will have lost yet another friend. I do need to stop sitting on the sidelines. But at the same time I would rather watch than join in. It’s stupid though how apparently to be emo you have to self-harm. For example today I wasn’t joining in to some sports activity, and I was sitting with one of my friends I’ve known for ages, Gabby, and I was saying that I’m basically emo, just a standard conversation, and one of my other newer friends, Ben, overheard. “Do you self-harm? No, so you’re not emo,” he said. Emo does not mean self-harming goth. Emo is short for being emotionally unstable. Besides, he can’t talk. I have self-harmed so hey, guess I’m emo.
At the moment I really just want to go home. I miss my friends at least as much as my family, if not more. Probably just because I can sort of relate to them, a lot more than anyone here. I guess I’m just starting to get homesick now. There are only two weeks or so left though. I really just want to be home.
