I spent a lot more time with her in the past few days. I think I’m just going to leave it as it is. If I tell myself I don’t like her then I guess I’ll eventually believe it. In theory. In practice, I’m not so sure. She talks to me, sometimes. But it’s not exactly comfortable. Well it is, but only when she’s around other friends that I’m friends with as well. Except for last night. There were other people around, yeah, but she chose to talk to me over them, and considering that some of them were her best friends, I felt special. It was one of those moments when I felt really good about myself, I felt like I was on top of the world. But the problem with that feeling is that when you fall from there, it hurts the most. I guess it’s the same concept as getting your hopes up. I’ve done that plenty of times too. I think I just get more jealous than majority of people do, which is maybe why I need to write so often, just to get my thoughts out.
When this girl I like walks straight past me and then starts talking to someone else she’s hardly even friends with, it’s hard for me. She walked past before and ignored me, but ignored everyone else as well. I don’t know if something’s wrong, or if she’s just in a bad mood. I worry too much. Sometimes I wish one of my friends was a writer, but at the same time I’m glad I’m the only teenage male writer I know. But I do wish she would show more interest in me and my writing, or just in me as a whole. Maybe she actually doesn’t care about me at all. I really think I just care about everything more than I should. It’s all going to my head.
-Anonymous
