Worship And Other Love Rituals

Chapter 20

The night air was sad and the sky was a little too heavy for anyone's good mood but no one seemed to care enough about that anyway.

Just as I started making an attempt at taking a cool breath, a figure stepped out from between two bushes, blocking my path to safety. Ethan had stepped through the French doors and walked over to me, his eyes full of contrition. His face looked like a sad puppy who'd just been scolded. "Clara, I'm sorry you had to be subjected to all that ugliness in there. Maya knows exactly which buttons to push to cause the most damage."

I glanced away, hugging my arms around myself. "It's alright. I'm just ready to go home."

Ethan seemed to materialize at my side. "Clara, can we talk? Privately?" His eyes held a pleading earnestness that made it hard to refuse.

And what with the way he kept saying please with his big green doe eyes.... I nodded slowly. "Alright. But just to talk. And not here."

We slipped away from the festivities, wandering down a gravel path into the rose garden. It wasn't nearly as grandiose a sight as in the front yard, where all the guests were congregated in a festive atmosphere. Here the gardens seemed much smaller, almost intimate.

Ethan ran a hand through already messy hair. "I know I have a lot of explaining to do. What Maya said..." He shook his head regretfully. "I never meant to hurt you, Clara. Things with her were...complicated."

My arms folded tightly across my chest, and the chilly breeze cut right through my coat. "Were? Or... are?" The question escaped before I could stop it. Ethan's eyes widened in dismay.

"Were," he stated firmly. "It's...over...and has been for a long time. I ended it as soon as I realized how deep my feelings ran for you." He gazed at me earnestly. "You're the only one I want, Clara. If you'll give me a chance to prove it."

His look caught me off guard. My head told me to flee but my heart was drawn to stay, to listen.

I studied my scarred hands, fingernails bitten down nearly to the quick. Finally, I said, "Trust doesn't come easy for me, Ethan. Not after..." My voice broke slightly. He nodded solemnly.

"I know. And you have every right to be skeptical. But if you'll let me, I'm going to spend every day showing you how much you mean to me. Building that trust back up, brick by brick."

I glanced up studying his features. It took a lot more courage than I thought to speak, but finally I managed to say, softly. "Alright. We can...try. But slowly. And if you ever break my trust again-"

"You have my word," Ethan vowed sincerely interrupting me. "No more lies or secrets. Whatever you need from me." His eyes screamed sincerity sincerity, not only sincerity but love and devotion. For me. For us. It was enough to make my breath catch on my throat and tears spring to my eyes. I didn't try to hide them this time, instead letting the water spill down my cheeks. Ethan wiped away the first one with a gentle thumb.

"Well for starters...tell me more about you and Maya in high school. No more mysteries between us."

Ethan kicked at a stray pebble, hands jammed nervously in his pockets. "I don't really know where to start," he muttered looking away as he shuffled his feet. A couple of butterflies fluttered above our heads in the night, causing the rose bushes rustle lightly in the wind, making us both look up briefly at the sound.

I regarded him patiently. "The beginning is usually a good place. And don't leave anything out - no matter how uncomfortable."

He sighed. "Alright, well...Maya and I knew each other since we were kids. Our families ran in the same social circles here - country club parties, PTA stuff like that."