Worship And Other Love Rituals

Chapter 13

I swear my nerves had been shot for like the next two weeks after that. Ever since all that crazy stuff started happening at my house and Leo's school, it was like I had been living on the edge of a complete meltdown. Don't get me wrong - I had been putting on my best Mom Face for Leo to pretend like everything was totally fine. But when I was alone? Girl, the weight of it all has had me feeling like I was about to crack at any second. Penny was there for us, like always. We had her sympathy always, and she also brought us homemade meals sometimes. That was good, but we needed more.

It was not helping that Ethan had been away in Portland dealing with his brother's vineyard drama for like a bajillion years either.

I am sorry I said that Ethan.

Even though we talked every night, I still missed him like crazy and wanted him there. Not just because his hugs were the best anxiety medicine ever, but also because this whole situation has had me doubting everything.

What if he finds out how bad it really is and decides we're just not worth the trouble? I knew that was probably irrational of me, but I couldn't help the nagging thoughts.

Anyway, the night before Things Got Real, Ethan and I were on our usual phone call.

"Hey babe, how's it going over there?" Ethan asked in that warm, soothing voice of his.

I took a deep breath before lying through my teeth. "It's going good! We're handling things fine here."

As if. But I didn't have the heart to unload all my stresses on him when he had his own plate full. So I deflected by asking about his brother instead.

Once we hung up, the guilt hit hard. I hated keeping things from Ethan, but I also didn't want to worry him for no reason when he was so far away. That's when the morning after happened and proved just how bad things had gotten without me even realizing.

I woke up to the sound of shattering glass coming from outside. Still half asleep, I sprinted towards the noise and felt my heart literally stop in my chest. My poor pink convertible - Ethan's super thoughtful gift to me - had its windshield completely busted. Glass and scratches covered the whole thing while all four tires lay there like punctured birthday balloons.

I was broken...

If that wasn't enough of a obvious Fuck you, there was also a note pinned on the wiper that read "Leave town, retard lovers."

Rage and despair battled inside me so hard that I'm surprised I didn't spontaneously combust. How were we supposed to function now? How could I possibly afford to fix this? And how could I keep hiding things from Ethan when it was so obviously escalating?

The police were useless as always when I called to report it. The deputy who came barely looked up from his phone the whole time. "Sorry ma'am, nothing we can do without evidence," he droned like he was reading from a really boring script.

As if I couldn't tell he didn't actually care at all.

That afternoon, things took an even worse turn. Walking Leo home from school (because Leo was scared of the school bus too), I could tell right away something was up with him. He gets super quiet when he's stressed or scared.

"What's wrong, baby?" I asked as gently as possible while giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

Poor Leo's lip started quivering like he was about to break into tears. "I don't wanna go back to school, Mom," he whispered.

Red flags were going off like crazy in my head. "Did someone hurt you, sweetie? You can tell me anything."

After a moment of hesitating, it all came pouring out of him. Apparently earlier that day, Benji and his jerk friends put something gross in Leo's lunch that made him throw up so bad the nurse thought he needed to go to the ER. And even worse? Leo made the school promise not to tell me because he didn't want me to worry! Can you believe that? My heart just about shattered into a million pieces hearing it.