Legacy Diaries

Hope's Diary Entry No. 4

Gym
Hope's Diary Entry

"I'll be your friend if you promise not to send away anyone I care about again," Rafael said, not missing a step as we increased our speed a little. "And I'll dance with you if you stick around."

"You have two dates to focus on tonight," I reminded him, avoiding the friend part. "And Lizzie is going to demand every single moment you're not with Josie, and even cut in."

"You don't have friends or a date, and I have a pack and the birthday girls are my dates," he noted, not arrogantly. "I don't know about the pack since you represent your own species, but I could use some help with the dates and I don't mind sharing."

"So, they're not allowed to say that they share you but you're allowed?" I asked, calling out the double standard.

"They get to share me anyway," Rafael said in response. "Come on, I need a wingman or tonight is gonna be a disaster. I don't know what to do with two dates, and they're birthday girls and their father is probably gonna be watching me like a hawk the entire night. Doctor Saltzman trusts you, and you know Josie and Lizzie better than I do and you need friends to stop your stalking tendencies before they get out of hand."

I hit his shoulder with the hand that was on his shoulder for the last comment and he chuckled.

"Would you be stalking me if you had friends?" He asked, still chuckling, and wisely turned me around so that my back was to his front to prevent me from hitting him again. I could step on his toes and see how he liked it, but the turn was nicely done and he was dancing well, improving. "I'm just saying, whatever you are, you're part werewolf and werewolves are social creatures at their core.

"If I learned anything from Landon leaving, it's that you can't hold on to one relationship forever. People come and they also go, no matter what they mean to you. You have to find a way to move forward and connect with people who stick around, or you're gonna be the loner girl who pushes people away and stalks handsome guys like me. Ouch!"

I couldn't help it, I stepped on his toes, hard, and then turned to be face to face with him, a sweet smile on my face. The smile hid the thoughts in my mind, thoughts of my family and all the people I lost. Knowing that my mother found peace, I wondered if my father was at peace too or if I needed to let go of my guilt and live and be happy for the both of them before he found peace like Rafael's girlfriend Cassie. With these thoughts, I couldn't hold the smile for long, so I closed the distance between us and placed my head on his chest as we continued to sway.

After the last two weeks with every moment occupied by thoughts of Landon and his presence, and the little friendship I almost developed with Josie and actually interacting with other students, and Landon, and kissing him, I remembered what I was missing.

There was some truth to what Rafael said, and a part of me, bigger than I wanted to admit, longed to connect with people, especially after how alone I felt after he scared me and I was left all alone in the hallway when all I wanted was to speak with him about our mutual friend and share my happiness with him and anyone willing to listen.

Josie was wrong, her father didn't counter my loneliness, he just served to take my mind off all the heavy thoughts in my head and gave me physical outlets to distract me. Emma was there to help me with my feelings, thoughts and internal problems, but I wasn't willing to receive her help most of the time and I pulled back whenever I realised I was about to have a breakthrough.

My family was a big reason why I preferred to stay at the school, a part of me blamed them for letting my father sacrifice himself, but they were also very dear to me and I felt like another one of them would die because of me if I was around them long enough, so I was trying to protect them by staying away from them as long as I could. When their patience ran too thin, they usually threatened to come to the school, forcing me to go home and visit them.

I longed to connect with people, and I connected with Landon when we kissed and I let my guard down in our last minutes together because I wouldn't see him again. I couldn't bring up my walls afterwards because really connecting with another person just felt right.

I guess Rafael was correct about werewolves being social creatures. If he didn't react the way that he did earlier, my guard would have probably stayed unarmed and I would have enjoyed happiness a little longer, but all things considered, that made me really appreciate and value this moment a little bit more, along with the strange and belly clenching laughing session we shared in the classroom and the moments after.

He was the guy that I hurt by separating him from the only family he had, and yet here we were, slow dancing with my head resting on his chest, my guard surprisingly nowhere to be found even as I felt vulnerable. Maybe it was the fact that he allowed himself to be vulnerable with me first, but I didn't care to look into it. I just allowed myself to be in the moment and let his larger figure balance and hold me.

Hold me, he did, and he also gave me a gentle squeeze that told me that I wasn't alone. It was strange how the squeeze made me feel a little protected. This was the guy who genuinely terrified me this morning, and yet here I was, feeling protected by him. I was reminded of how my father scared me once.

I remembered him yelling at a much younger astral projection of me after I saw him kill a person. My father was terrifying, and he was hated with a passion, but he was my father and the man who loved me so much that he sacrificed his life for me. Yet I spent two years not living my life like he wanted me to, like my mother wanted me to.

Maybe it was time to. Maybe it was time that I granted their memories the peace and full life they wanted me to have. Maybe it was time that I appreciated the gifts they gave me. I will forever have questions and doubts about my worthiness for their sacrifices, but maybe it was time for me to truly live.

I wanted to tell Rafael my thoughts and hear what he thought, but we weren't there yet. I wasn't there yet. He was surprisingly very open, but I was just learning to open up and my body language had to be enough. We…

The gym doors suddenly opened, interrupting my deep thoughts and raising my guard instantly as I raised my head from Rafael's chest and put some space between us before I turned with a purpose. I used the distance and the turn to get a view of the doors and the person who just opened them but didn't enter. It was Doctor Saltzman, and he looked surprised.

"You're really great at this," Rafael complemented me, and let go of my hand and created some space to close our first successful dance since we came to the gym with a bow. I noticed that he was tense, though, as I followed his example with a curtsey, smiling a little.

"I take it the lessons are going well," Doctor Saltzman finally said something, but remained at the door way.

"There's some progress," I replied, facing him with Rafael, who seemed even more tense.

"Enough for you to see me in my office?" Asked Doctor Saltzman.

"Er…" I looked at Rafael, and he looked back at me.

"Do what you gotta do," he said after a moment, a moment he seemed to close off. "I'll check on how things are going in the Hall."

"I'll come get you," I responded, but he was already walking towards the door.

Though his mouth opened a few times as if to speak, Doctor Saltzman moved to the side to allow Rafael to pass, and the latter didn't stick around to hear whatever the former attempted to say.
‐
Alaric's Office

The walk to the office was relatively quiet, although we saw a few sophomores and juniors, the years allowed to volunteer for the party preparations, moving about, and by moving around, I meant that they were heading for the entrance instead of the Grand Hall, but Doctor Saltzman didn't say anything.

"What's going on?" I inquired after closing the door behind me, and moved to sit down, as did Doctor Saltzman.

"There's been a change of plans," he replied. "Or more like an addition to the plans."

Before he could say more or I could ask for specifics, a knock at the door gained our attention.

"That's probably MG," Doctor Saltzman said, adding to the mystery of what was going on. "Come in!"

As it turned out, it was MG.

"You wanted to see me, Doctor Saltzman?" He asked, taking note of my presence.

"Yes," Doctor Saltzman confirmed, taking out a piece of paper and a pen as MG approached after closing the door. "It has come to my attention that the surprise birthday party is at risk of not being much of a surprise anymore, and that you and Penelope are organising a party at the Old Mill to serve as a decoy and the after party."

Funny thing, there was always an after party after Josie and Lizzie's official birthday party, although only Juniors and Seniors were invited.

"Kaleb said something about the possibility of Josie and Lizzie not liking the main party," Doctor Saltzman continued, writing on the piece of paper he took out. "He also mentioned that the after party needs supplies, so I am giving you the task of getting the supplies. But since this is your first time organising and attending the after party, I'm writing you this note to get Wendy the Pyromaniac Witch out of class for ten minutes to help you with a list of the supplies."


He took out his car keys and a credit card from his wallet, and, along with the note, gave them to MG.

"When you have the list," he added. "Drive into town to get the supplies. On your own. And try to make it back before the period ends."

"There's like five minutes left," MG responded.

"Josie and Lizzie aren't going to spoil their own birthday party," I entered the conversation. "They know there's going to be a party tonight, and they're going to stay far from anything to do with it to avoid spoilers, including the driveway. You don't have to worry about them seeing MG."

"Hope's right," MG agreed. "Lizzie is going to start preparing for tonight the moment class is over."

"Or after checking on Rafael," I suggested, and the two males frowned.

"Speaking of Rafael," Doctor Saltzman began, after clearing his throat. "Remind him that he has a fitting in an hour. Oh, before I forget, here's the pin number, MG."

He wrote it down and gave it to MG, who looked at me in question at the mention of Rafael having a fitting. Doctor Saltzman drew his attention as he also told MG to wait for the period to be over before asking for Wendy's help and then sent him on his way.

"You don't like that Josie and Lizzie are taking Rafael as their date," I stated once we were alone.

"One moment, Rafael is Josie's date," Doctor Saltzman said, pouring himself a glass of bourbon. "And the next, he's also Lizzie's date, and knowing Lizzie…"

"She's going to want Rafael all to herself," I completed plainly. "Unless I accept Rafael's proposal to share the birthday girls's attention."

"What are you talking about?" Doctor Saltzman asked, his glass of bourbon stopping halfway to his mouth.

"I planned to just make an appearance at the party, but Rafael asked me to stick around and help him with the twins," I replied, to Doctor Saltzman's surprise, but his expression quickly turned into contemplation.

"What did he mean by 'help him with the twins'?" He inquired after taking a sip from his glass of bourbon.

"He wants me to be his wingman," I explained, and watched Doctor Saltzman's reaction closely.

He didn't give much up, just contemplation.

"That's-that's good," he mumbled after a moment, to my curiosity. "That's better than what I had in mind."

"What did you have in mind?" I asked.

"I need you to keep a close eye on the girls and Rafael," Doctor Saltzman said, instead of answering my question, but it seemed he answered it anyway.

He wanted me to spy on his daughters and their date for him. It surprised me that I wasn't really surprised by that, but though I probably wouldn't have minded much if I got something out of it, like internet privileges and some time out in the town, something about this rubbed me the wrong way this time.

"Are you safe, Hope?" Rafael's question replayed in my mind. "Running around with Doctor Saltzman like you're his sidekick? Don't you have a family that would be concerned if it found out that you're practically the Headmaster's pet?"

The Headmaster's pet. His sidekick. His trusted muscle. Did I seem like those things? Most importantly, was I those things? If I was, then I wasn't anymore. I was a Mikaelson, and Mikaelsons were no one's pet, sidekick or muscle. As much as I didn't let Rafael calling me 'Princess' get to my head, I was a princess of two werewolf royal bloodlines and packs.

I was royalty and royalty didn't bow down to anyone, but Aunt Rebekah's lessons came to mind and reminded me that the court was one elegant, yet dangerous, battlefield. It turned out so was school, and birthday parties too, it seemed. What with Doctor Saltzman playing a dangerous game that could harm his relationship with his daughters even more than the secrets he kept from them and putting his life in danger to protect me.

With the last thought, an unsettling question crossed my mind about whether Doctor Saltzman risking his life to prevent the gargoyle from killing me was to protect me or to prevent me from dying and activating the third part of my dormant tribrid status. And just like that, Rafael's questions concerning the school started to made sense. It wasn't just paranoia on his part, and even if it was, my father was said to have been the most paranoid person in the world, and he lived to be over a thousand years and he died when he finally decided to die, for me, and on his own terms.

If school and birthday parties were battlefields like courts, maybe like the Honor Council too, I couldn't afford to isolate myself anymore. I needed allies. I was part werewolf and werewolves were social creatures, pack creatures. If Doctor Saltzman wanted me to spy for him, there was a price to pay.