Legacy Diaries

Josie's Diary Entry No. 6

Hallways
Josie's Diary Entry

Why the hell did I think sharing a date with Lizzie was a good idea? It was hard enough for her to share our birthday with me as she always made the day all about herself, and I just had to bail and cover Rafael out of the mess he made by sleeping with her to get back at me.

'It just happened,' they said, as if kissing someone, taking off their clothes and having sex with them didn't require thought and action, but most of all, desire.

I knew what I was doing when I kissed Rafael the other day. I have wanted to kiss him since we had that moment at the Old Mill party on his first night at the school, and I regretted bringing Lizzie up instead of kissing him like I wanted to. So, when I saw an opportunity to get that kiss, I didn't waste it. Desire, thought, action. Desire and thought birthed action, and I took action and kissed Rafael, and he kissed me back after the initial surprise.

Maybe I had a thing for bondage or something, but for a kiss that didn't involve any touching, apart from our lips, it was beyond my wildest dreams. It was intense, yet so soft and sweet and intimate that it made my toes curl and my head spin. It was everything my first kiss ever should have been, and more. And then Rafael had to stupidly agree to be Lizzie's date and have sex with her on top of that, and Lizzie just had to tell me.

Of course, I had to make Rafael pay for using Lizzie to get back at me for voting against Landon staying because I couldn't let something like what happened with Penelope happen again without retaliating again. But according to both Lizzie and Rafael, he didn't use her to get back at me, 'it just happened', and I was the idiot who publicly attacked Rafael out of jealousy and then made him my date to cover his hookup with Lizzie, only to find out that Lizzie lied about there being no 'us' between them, and now I was going to be the third whee…

"Oomph!" Was my gasp at hitting a wall.

The wall suddenly grew arms and caught me by the small of my back and shoulder before I could fall, and it apologized:

"I'm sorry."

Strangely, the wall smelled like Rafael and spoke with his voice. Wait. What? It wasn't a wall, it was Rafael.

"Sor…" he repeated, only to trail off as our eyes met, and his hand on the small of my back pulled me a little closer to him.

My mind went blank for a moment, but my eyes couldn't help but fall to his lips, and then went back up to his eyes, which were focused on my lips before they came back to my eyes with an audible swallow from their owner and a little squeeze from his hands. Funny thing, I didn't know where my own hands were, and I didn't care to find out because the distance between us was closing slowly, until someone pushed me from behind, causing our heads to bump.

"Ouch!" I moaned, my hands's existence back as I held my head.

"Yo! Watch were you're going!" Rafael warned, getting between me and the person.

"Excus…" the person began with a very familiar voice, but paused. "Josie?"

I looked around Rafael, and sure enough, I found that the voice wasn't just very familiar, it belonged to my godmother.

"Fairy Godmother?" I asked in surprise, shocked that she was here.

"Surprise!" She screamed with open arms.

I moved around Rafael to hug her.

"What are you doing here?!" I asked into the hug, happy to see her.

"I'm keeping my promise to be here for your sweet sixteen after missing your birthday last year," she replied as we separated, smiling. "Who's your confused werewolf friend?"

My confused werewolf friend was Rafael, and he looked confused, but he tried to hide his confusion at it being pointed out.

"Umm, Godmother, this is Rafael, the new Alpha of the werewolves," I introduced, standing between them. "Raf, this is my godmother Bonnie Bennett. She's one of the most powerful witches in the world."

"And she is wondering why you're standing just around the corner to your room in a bathrobe with a boy close enough to bump heads," added my openly curious godmother. "And why is he so protective of you? What happened to Penelope?"

Rafael was protective of me? Oh, he got between me and my godmother while he confronted her for pushing me into him.

"She-who-shall-not-be-named broke up with me a little over a month ago, publicly," I answered, wrapping my arms around myself now that I remembered that I was wearing just a bathrobe.

"Well, her loss," Godmother Bonnie responded, and I saw Rafael nod his head in agreement from the corner of my eye. "Since you agree, you better treat her well, or she'll be your loss next and I'll turn you into a frog."

Rafael looked at me for a moment, probably wondering if she could really do that.

"We're not…" we began in unison to explain that we weren't dating, my cheeks blushing.

"Save it," Godmother Bonnie interrupted. "Finish whatever it is you were doing before I interrupted you. You'll find me in your room when you're done here, Josie. Save me a dance, Rafael."

With that, she left us and headed for my room with Lizzie.

"Oh my god, Lizzie," I realised that Godmother Bonnie was probably going to mention seeing us. "I have to go."

I moved to follow her, but Rafael stood in my way.

"Wait," he said in a hurry. "Umm, I was looking for you."

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"I figured out how the date thing can work," he replied, but hesitated to continue. "But you may not like it."

"I get it," I responded, dejected. "I'm the third wheel and…"

"You don't get it," Rafael stated, and I hoped so. "I'm not ready for a relationship, but I like you and…"

"How could you say that you like me and do what you did?" I interrupted him with a question I really needed an answer to. "And don't tell me 'it just happened'."

Just as he was about to reply, a fellow student walked by.

"Can we go somewhere private to speak?" He asked after a few moments, looking around.

"Lead the way," was my answer, because I wanted answers. Real answers.

He did just that, and led me not too far from my room before stopping at a door I realised was likely his room's door. The moment he opened the door, the likelihood turned into certainty. It was his room, but it didn't have any personal belongings to make it feel like it was really his room, apart from his two still packed bags at the floor of the opened door of his closet and a hanging garment cover hanging on the closed door of said closet.

"Can you do that thing you did with the candle in the classroom without the candle?" Rafael asked, interrupting my inspection of his very clean and organised room, apart from the opened closet door.

"I can't," I replied. "The spell only works with sage."

"Can you make us invisible?" He followed up, sitting on his bed.

"Hold my hand," I instructed, joining him on the bed, and he curiously followed my instruction. I siphoned from him before casting a relatively simple cloaking spell, but it had a flaw. "As long as we hold hands, we'll be invisible to everyone."

"Err, OK. Cool." Rafael acknowledged, looking at his other hand curiously.

"You and I can see ourselves and each other," I explained, reminded that he was still new to all this.

"It's like the bracelet," he said to himself, but he didn't give me the chance to ask about it. "Look, I know Lizzie is your sister and all, but sometimes sex is just sex. It doesn't have to be complicated by feelings."

"Lizzie is complicated, and so are her feelings," I responded since I knew her better than even our parents.

"Not last night," Rafael countered, and I so wanted to let go of his hand. "I know it was a mistake, and I know this sounds bad, but I needed something, anything, to distract me, and she was there, offering, and she needed the same thing I needed. I didn't use Lizzie to get back at you, but a part of me feels like I used her even though it wasn't my intention."

I doubted that it was Dad's intention to prioritise Hope over Lizzie and me, I hoped it wasn't his intention, anyway, but he priotised her over us time and again. It didn't matter what Rafael's intentions were, he slept with my sister, and I hated that I still liked him just as a part of me still loved Penelope even though it wasn't my intention.

"I get why you're mad at me, Josie," Rafael continued, holding my other hand as well. It sounded like he did get it, and the way he was looking at me said that he did and he was sorry. "I also get why you hurt me. Actually, about that, thank you."

What? Did Rafael really just thank me for hurting him?

"I saw Cassie after I passed out," he explained, probably seeing my confusion and surprise, both of which increased. "Let's just say you're a lot stronger than you realise."

"You passed out after you left the hallway," I realised regrettably.

When he fought against the initial pain inflicting spell I used against him, I tried to burst his blood vessels to make him stay down. I thought that I failed when he managed to stand. When he had the nosebleed, I was too angry to realise the damage I was doing and did, even as he stumbled afterwards.

"I'm sorry," I sincerely apologized. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," Rafael said as though he meant it, caressing my hands with his thumbs. "I don't know if it was really her, or just my mind playing tricks on me, but I got to see Cassie and speak with her and touch her and tell her that I love her one last time, and she did the unthinkable. She forgave me and told me that she loved me and that I needed to forgive myself so that she could find peace."

I decided against telling him about the possibility of the damage I did to his head blood vessels being the cause of his vision of Cassie. From what he said about her, she sounded like the kind of person who would forgive him even if he didn't want to be forgiven.

"I know I don't deserve her forgiveness and to forgive myself for what I did to her," Rafael continued, looking at our hands before looking me in the eye. "But for her peace, and mine, I've forgiven myself enough to acknowledge that I like you, Josie."

I knew it, he liked me, but…

"This may sound weird and wrong to say," he admitted nervously. "Especially so soon and after what I did with Lizzie, but Cassie always wanted the truth, no matter what, and the truth is that I like you and I like spending time with you, even though I don't deserve to."