Afflictus

Break Downs

ok ppl i know its been a long time. but i have been doing other things. i am sooo sorry, i promise ill try to update sooner.

Enjoy...

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-- Lily's POV --

Last night was fun. Maybe a little too fun. I don't know. I wasn't really thinking. Now that I realize how close we are, I'm getting a little freaked out. I think to myself as I sit on my bed hugging his scarf. I look down and realize. "Ah." I hold the scarf at arm's length away from me. Emma turned around awkwardly, "What? It doesn't have bugs on it, right?" I look at her. "No....." I say quietly. "What's wrong with it then?" She asks, staring at me weirdly. "Nothing." I look down, and get up to find my coat and leave. I need air, I think as I shrug my coat on.

Is it okay to like someone this much? I know I told myself that I loved Amos, but this feels different. I guess it's because I found myself actually getting to know him. Maybe it's because I kissed him. Maybe his scarf has a charm weaved into it. Ugh. Stop thinking all of that. You already went through this once before. It was barely any help. You get frustrated at your brain. I need to talk. Talking will keep me occupied. "People. Communication." I command myself as I walk back to the Gryffindor common room. It was a weekend so everyone was about, making it easier for me to socialize. I found Dixie. sitting next to Sirius and Otis. They were obviously going to be talking about Quidditch. The word itself reminds me of the celebration night. Ugh. CONVERSATION. I mentally command myself. I walk up to them and smile. "May I?"

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I was in the common room for most of the day. I talked a lot, much to my satisfaction, and tried to keep thoughts out of my head. We were now sitting in a large circle, Emma, Grace, Dixie, all the maurders, and obviously I. We were just chatting when Emma nudged me, and pointed to the time. She softly asked me: "Don't you tutor Cory in like three minutes?" I was lost for a second, before I jolted off the floor startling everyone. "Holy Merlin. Yes. I'm such a forgetful sod. Thank you Ems." I fluster looking for my coat. I pick it up and turn to James. "Uh." Whatever you do, don't mention him to James. Sirius's words echo in my head. "Um. I will be in the library, come for tutoring." I end with a fake smile, and dash out the door.

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--James's POV--

I look around to the rest of the people sitting in the circle. Everyone seemed apprehensive. Only Dixie looked as shocked as I did. I looked Grace I the eye. "What is she not telling me?" Grace flinched. "I have no clue what you are talking about." She looked down and fiddled with her hair. I try Remus next. "Moony. I know you know." I should have remembered that he was a pro liar. "What do I know?" Urgh. I grumble in frustration. "James. You need to calm down. She only just opened up to you. You need to give her time." Emma reasoned with me. "For how long?" I felt like screaming, but I had no energy, and it turned out like a dying whine. "Sodding hell, please tell me for how long." I sounded sincere and sad. All of them had piteous expressions on their faces, but none had any words.

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After I kind of broke down, everyone left. I could tell they felt bad, but feeling bad did nothing to me. I lied down on my bed. Sirius just got out of the bathroom. He saw me and I looked away. How could he, of all people, not tell me? We're best friends. It's his duty. Especially about Lily. I could feel my blood rising, as I thought about it. "Hey Pro-" Sirius was cut off by my burst of: "Shut up Padfoot! How could you not tell me? Why can't you tell me? I know there is something Lily is hiding! It's Lily, padfoot. LILY!" I lost my flow of thought and the only thing left in my brain was Lily. "Why does she keep acting like nothing happened?! Why does she pretend?! I did it padfoot! After three years! I managed to do it! Still she keeps things from me. She won't tell me." I thumped him on the chest. Once. Twice. Thrice. My screams fell to a slow sob. "I did it. And she doesn't care. It doesn't matter. Does it padfoot? She doesn't care." I fell to the floor and hugged my legs. Sirius was lost. Remus and Wormtail walked up. They had no words. And I didn't want to hear any. I just sat on the floor, hugging my legs, trying to cradle my heart.

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--Lily's POV--

I laugh. "Merlin, Cory. Can your jokes get an cornier?" I ask. "Do you want to hear it?" he asks dubiously. I was taken aback. "Save it for another class Cory. I don't think I can handle it" He smiles. "You can't." I laugh slightly. I glance at the clock. "Merlin! is that the time?! I barely thought you anything!" He looked up to see the time. And then looked at me. "So not true. I learnt fire spells. And breaking spells. And how to get more precise hand movements. and- " "Ok. Ok stop." He smiled a great big smile. And quickly said a flame generating spell and held it up. "See?" he asked. I jumped back. "Stop it Cory!" I said. He brought it closer prompting me. I pick up my wand and chant a quick water spell that douses his flame. He pouted. "Not fair" He whined. I laughed. "Oh Cory, Did you-" I was cut off by a loud scream.

'Lily! Get away from him right now! What is wrong with you?! Get away from her Blant! right now!" he screamed as he walked up to us. The anger flashing in his eyes. Cory looked scared out of his wits. "James. James listen to me. Put your wand down!" I shout at him. He looks at me, and for a second I thought he would stop. But he just pulled me by my hand, and away from Cory. "Why are you here? What do you want from her?" Cory had no words. he was trembling. I ran around the chair, and stood in front of Cory. I slowly lifted my wand. I spoke with danger in my voice. "James. Stop. I don't know who you think Cory is, or what you think of him, but I know he is a nice, kid. A kid who did nothing wrong. I'm just tutoring him in Charms. He didn't do anything to me." He looked at me. With anger, and distress. "Lily. Do you know who he is? Do you know his family? Do you know anything at all about him?" The tone in his voice was terrifying. He didn't wait for an answer. "No? Well then since you think he is so great I will let you find out on your own. Forget Lily. Forget it all."

He stalked away. I slowly dropped my wand, and turned to a pale Cory. I sat him down. "I'm so sorry Cory. I have no clue what that was about." "Accio Water." I pointed to my bag, and my water bottle came flying from within. "Here." I handed it to him, and he timidly accepted. "Lily." He croaked. "I'm sorry." I looked at him confused. "For what? Cory you didn't do anything." I assured him. "No. I know what James is talking about. I'm sorry." I stood there dumbfounded. "I would tell you, but I think you should find out from someone else." Shaking, he got up and handed me the bottle. "Thank you lily." He quietly picked up his books and walked away. I fell onto the sofa exhausted. What is James mad about? What did Cory do? Why am I so lost? I contemplate. What did James mean by Forget? What does he want me to forget? what was he talking about? I sigh as I pick up my stuff slowly trying to piece things together.

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--James's POV--

"Argh!" I scream at myself. "Forget James!" I scream again. "Forget it all!"That last line in the library wasn't to Lily. I was talking to myself. I was telling myself to forget Lily. To get over her. "Ugh." I shout at my realization. "Why must you make it so hard?" I question out loud. Softer, I repeat. "Why must you make it so hard?" I run my hand through my hair, gripping it tight. I was so frustrated I felt like punching something. Without a second thought I pull my hand out of my pocket and punch the wall to my left. I walked into the common room cold blood oozing from all four knuckles. Drops fell on the floor, seeping into the carpet, and merging with the blood red background of Gryffindor. I could hear the Gryffindor lion roaring in my head as I walked the stairs to my room.

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So?!?!?!?!?

Wat u think? I will update soon. Promise. I will tell lot of stories, and explain stuff. but in the meanwhile

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