dancing with our hands tied (by purplemango445 )

apprehension

She had a nightmare that night.

She found herself back at her house on that day. Her parents' dead bodies lying on the floor, with her sister just a few feet away. The pills lying atop the counter.

Blood on her hands.

Then, it morphed to the funeral service where Agent Jang was put to rest. She couldn't cry. Agent Jang had gone undercover instead of the other Counters. Instead of her .

Agent Chu was sobbing her eyes out with Agent Ga holding her close.

She could see the devastation in their eyes.

She should have been the one on that mission.

More blood on her hands.

Finally, the scene morphed into her worst fear.

All of the Counters lying dead at her feet. She was too late. She couldn't protect them.

Just as she heard the click of the safety being removed from the gun, the shot ricocheted.

When she opened her eyes, she was shocked by the sight before her.

There, Agent So was lying with a bullet to the heart, smiling at her.

"I told you, I would always do it, love." He said before dying right in front of her.

His blood. All of their blood painted her arms red.

She did this. She caused this.

She fell to the ground and sobbed for the first time in years.

Her tears mixed with the blood and left her a mess.

That's when with a startled gasp she woke up to warm hands holding her.

She looked to her side and saw Agent So looking at her with concern as he ran a reassuring hand through her hair.

"Breathe, love. It's alright. It was just a dream." He whispered.

Her shaky breaths had finally evened as Agent So continued to run his hand through her curly locks.

He pulled his hand away quickly. Always respectful of her boundaries.

"What are you doing here?" She asked quietly.

"I heard noises coming from the room, so I came and saw you tossing and turning while crying." He replied calmly.

That's when she realized her cheeks were wet from her tears.

She quickly wiped her face and looked at her hands, terrified to see red blood staining her fingers.

But there was no blood, just the present shakiness of her hands.

Agent So held onto her hands to steady them. To steady her.

She looked up at him. She tried to memorize his face and dragged her fingers to touch his pulse point.

Still beating. Still alive.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Agent So asked.

"I-I was on a mission before I joined the Counters. My parents and my sister committed suicide one day and when I came back from school, I saw their dead bodies. I always questioned why they would do that to me. Leave me behind." She exclaimed, unable to look him in the eye.

Agent So just squeezed her hands in response. Reminding her that he was there, listening.

"They committed suicide by ingesting pills, but they weren't regular pills. They were hard to find and Yung thought that was suspicious, so they had me look into it. It was a complete dead end, and I still don't know what happened. But I lost myself in the process." She explained.