Someone Worth Lying For

9) Unworthy

We all sort of walked today, completely on autopilot. No thought of complaining or speaking or drinking or eating or anything. Just moving along as we processed the events. Or got used to what would be our new normal.

Minho says we have to start running tomorrow. That's gonna suck, but it is what it is. That's the only phrase to live by, right?

I wonder if everyone else is okay. If the Gladers that stayed really did have something bad happen to them. Maybe something like what happened with Winston.

I hope not. They deserve better. Everyone does or did. You know? Because not everyone is with us.

I hate WICKED. They make me sick. They make me want to rip my skull out and throw it at them.

Thomas and Teresa aren't always an exception. I know I say it as a joke, but sometimes I feel pure resentment at the way they're here when people who weren't involved aren't.

Well, Thomas is here. Teresa, we still don't know. I mean why would we?

It's empty out here. It's nothing but sand and air and heat. And us of course.

I know I should sleep. I know that instead of tormenting myself with the what if's and has been's I should rest, but that's just so difficult. I mean the more I think about it the more I want to smash something against the ground. Or even someone. I definitely wouldn't mind killing that Ratman.

I wonder if he worked with Thomas and Teresa. Maybe he really liked them. Maybe he thought they were super smart and everyone else was super dumb. I'm sure he would think that I'm super dumb. He definitely thinks I'm disrespectful. And maybe I always have been or maybe we never met.

I wonder what my life before the Maze was in general. I wonder where the way I brush everything off comes from. Maybe my parents? A sibling? Or what about the way I'm so blunt. Did I learn that from old friends? It'd be cool to know why I know how to open locks. Maybe I had some secret lover?

Man, that last one's stupid. Me? In love? Ridiculous.

Sighing, I turned on my back and shut my eyes.

I sure as hell didn't sleep on my stomach. That's the way I landed when I got dragged out of death's path.

Winston didn't though. Even though he should have, honestly probably more than me, he didn't.

Winston was always nice. He was chill. Nobody ever had a bad interaction with him. While he wasn't a pushover, he was pretty cool.

I have had my fair share of altercations. Never enough to be banished obviously. Just enough for me to usually bump heads with Gally and a few others whenever we crossed each other's path. No clue why. I would just think something they said was stupid or rude and point it out or vice versa. Not very mature, but there were never any fists being thrown so it's fine.

It's all completely fine. I am absolutely fine and am not at all thinking about how I stepped over my friend's dead body today. No, no, no. Not at all.

I'm fine. I feel completely fine.

Aris's P.O.V

It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be all nice and happy. Not whatever this hell is. This wasn't what we were promised.

Sure. I could understand a betrayal to get Thomas's brain waves, but WICKED told us we didn't have to worry about hurting anyone. They said nobody would even get a scratch.

It feels worse because of Y/N. I just know that if she remembered the, "I told you so" would be her most genuine one. She would say it with her head high and voice sharp.