Someone Worth Lying For

19) Sleep Deprived

I was up before the sun. In a way, I was too tired to sleep. That would require me to be able to close my eyes and rest. I honestly have no clue how other people aren't just deteriorating by the second.

Sighing, I sat up, brushing the dirt off my pants. As I stretched, popping my neck, I heard footsteps, making me freeze.

“Just me,”Newt assured me, keeping his voice down.

“Couldn't sleep either?”I sighed, looking at him.

“No. Maybe it's a hidden side effect,”He sort of joked.

“Think they make special sleeping drugs just for Cranks?”I joked back.

“I reckon they should at this buggin’ point.”

“So anything particular you want to do if you end up cranking out before we get there?”I asked, taking my spot on the ground again. Heaving a sigh, he sat a few feet away.

“Gettin’ my memories back would be a start. Won't do much good if I’m dead though.”

“That's not impossible though. They could just come to us in dreams or something like that?”

“WICKED give us something? Funny.”

“They gave us the Flare. That's definitely something,”I shrugged.

“I never forget it. I can't tell if people are more obnoxious or if,”He trailed off.

“Or if the Flare’s making everyone seem that way,”I finished.

“Yeah. Makes me feel kind of bad sometimes. That my friends existence is getting on my nerves.”

“It should go away when we get there though. We can stop feeling awful about everything. Live a good life. Watch people fall in love. All that good stuff.”

“Why don't ya’ just fall in love then?”

“Nah. I’d rather not end up getting destroyed by it,”I shrugged.

“How do you know it would do that?”

“I mean I don't. It's just that I remembered my name and knew that was true. I remembered cows and knew they were true. I remembered all those things. Then, I remembered loving someone is not a good idea and accepted it.”

“Maybe the idea was misinterpreted?”

“Could have been.”

“So what's the plan if ya’ fall? Throw yourself to the wolves?”

“I’m just crossing my fingers that won't be happening while I'm still breathing.”

“Ya’ don’t always make sense. Haven't from the start really. But ya’ make sense now.”

“Thanks. You know, your accent didn't make much sense either at first, but now I can almost understand you when you speak.”

“We speak the same buggin' language,”He huffed, shoving my shoulder.

“I’m not too lazy to pronounce my n’s though,”I shot back, shoving him back. He looked at me with what I can only describe as playful disappointment before slightly shaking his head.

“I’m goin’ to try to go back to sleep,”He said, getting up.

“Alright. I’m gonna stay here until you all wake up.”

“I’ll pretend ya’ aren't sleep deprived. Just to be nice.”

I let myself quietly laugh as he left, giving a salute as he went back to his spot. Laying my head down, I stared at the sky and wondered how it all led up to this.

Aris’s P.O.V

° ° ° ° °

“Your nerd stuff’s kind of cool. Sometimes.”

I looked at her as she gave me a blank stare and a shrug.

“Your non nerd stuff is cool. Sometimes.”

“You mean when it's on the brink of committing crimes?”

“Yeah. Something like that,”I agreed.

“You're different, but you aren't at the same time. You're you but also a collection of a bunch of ideas you’ve been told.”

“I don't think I’m that different.”

“It's not bad. To be different.”

“Then, why does everyone act like it is?”

“People have their point of view in life. A lot of them can't even begin to comprehend other people's. So they don't try.”

“Ignorance.”

“Yes. Ignorance.”

“People should be more like you. Brave. Sweet. Complex,”I listed, pushing her hair from out of her face.

“Everyone's complex,”She insisted.

“I like yours the best though. I like the way it makes you see the world. It’s actually worth looking into.”

“Even if it's different from yours?”

“Yes. Even if it's different from mine.”

Sighing, she looked over at me again, her head still leaning against my wall. My hand had stayed in hers, my eyes captivated by her beauty. The small things about her that I get to look at. That I wish would stay with me forever.

“You're my favorite person ever. I could know millions, and it would still be you,”I promised.

“You're the first face I think of when I wake up and the last one I see when I fall asleep.”

“I love you. I love you more than you know.”

Giving a halfhearted nod, she turned away from me, her lips pursed in a thin line. Already having accepted that her saying it back is something she may never do, I did the same, holding in a sigh.

I know why. I know a lot of the reasons, and there are so many.

Yet I don't want to talk about a single one.

° ° ° ° °