The doctor || MARVEL

"You didn't read it." ⚝ Chapter 28

May 16, 2015

When Virginia opened her eyes, two things happened. She was instantly blinded by the bright lights that she could only assume belonged to a hospital room, and when she tried to sit up she found herself restrained.

At this recent realization, the woman's breath picked up as she started to panic. She started to flex and try to loosen the restraints. Though she couldn't see it, she knew that she had an IV, and if she was still at HYDRA that needed to be taken out as soon as possible.

"Woah, calm down tiger." Sam's familiar voice said calmly though there was a hidden streak of worry. "If I take off the restraints, will you try to kill me?"

"No, why would I do that?" Virginia slightly tilted her head to the man as the memories came flooding back. "Oh...Oh shit! Are the twins okay? What about Steve...Bucky?"

"There you are. They are all fine." Sam smiled and took off her tight restraints, letting her rub her arms. "The girl was able to take you out." Sam told her smiling, "We missed you, Ginny,"

"Missed you too, Sammy," she grinned playfully

"What did I say about that nickname?"

"I don't really care."

The two's playful banter was cut off when Steve and Bucky walked into the room, Ginny's smile faded when she saw Bucky limp and that Steve had a pretty big bruise on his cheek.

"Mornin' sleepyhead," Steve said, smiling, and sitting at the edge of her bed, Ginny smiled at him, a bit of sadness tracing her lips, "How are you feeling?"

"Sore but that doesn't seem to be anything compared to you." Ginny put her hand on his bruise gently,

"It's really not that bad, I'll get Bruce so you can get some pain medication. But we need to talk in private later. Come on Sam, let's go." Steve leaned down and brushed her hair out of her face before whispering "I gave Bucky the letter."

Steve then stood up and dragged Sam out of the room much to the man's complaints, leaving Bucky and Virginia in the room together. There were several beats of silence,

"You should sit," Virginia finally said, gesturing to a nearby chair which Bucky continued to kick over and sit next to her bed. "So... Steve gave you my letter-"
"Virginia, before you say anything about it, you must know that I only read the first four sentences. Ginny, I am so sorry. I should have, But now you can tell me yourself."

"You didn't read it," Virginia said, stating the obvious, again in very similar words,

"Ginny, I'm sorry-"

"Don't call me 'Ginny'. It sounds wrong." Virginia said strictly, not looking away from the man. "And don't bother to read the letter. Just burn it" Before Bucky could respond again, Bruce walked into the room with his small humble smile.

"Hey, Ginny," He said, "How are you feeling?"

"Sore," Ginny responded the smile returning to her face,

"I can get you some meds," Bruce said as the former soldier walked out of the room, unable to handle their simple and heartwarming conversation.

Bucky went up to his room and brushed past Steve and Nat who were walking in the hall next to each other laughing happily bumping Steve's shoulder but he kept walking to his room where he then slammed the door shut and turned to look at the dark and musty mess. His blinds were closed and had not been opened since he first got there. Everything was a mess, there was a pile of unwashed laundry in the corner that was just growing bigger and bigger.

Through the sad darkness of the room, there was something shining a light that only Bucky could see. It was like a golden key, a key to peace and what almost seemed like a better life.

The letter was open, and Bucky could read from where he was standing "Dear Jamie," Her handwriting felt like a stab to the heart, Bucky felt like he was doing the right thing by cutting her off, but it hurt him. It hurt him so bad every time he heard Virginia laughing.

But she wasn't laughing with him or about him, she was laughing with Steve, Clint, or Thor. He wanted to be the one making her laugh, he wanted to be the one who she considered her best friend, he wanted to tell her sorry and he wanted her to believe him.

The fact that Virginia wrote him a letter didn't help him whatsoever. Steve had suggested that he try to be kinder to the woman but he knew that wouldn't fly. Virginia might never forgive him for how he treated her these past months.

Bucky would understand that.

But maybe Steve was right. Maybe he could try to be her friend again. He would have to start with the small things. The small things... What was a small thing he could do? Bucky looked around his room and again his eyes landed on the open letter

"Dear Jamie" He read again and it seemed to draw him closer like a magnet and before he knew what he was doing he was slowly unfolding the pristine piece of paper.

Dear Jamie,

If you are reading this letter, it means two things.

1) Stevie gave it to you

2) I'm lost to HYDRA after the mission.

I think that you deserve to know the whole truth. I don't know when I realized this, maybe it was right when I got out of HYDRA or realized the Winter Soldier was your body. Maybe it was when I first came back from med school and you wouldn't let go of me. Maybe it was during the triple dates that you would set me and Stevie up with that never worked out.

The point is, I need to confess something and I might not tell Stevie to give this to you out of fear, or I might scribble it all out and try again. I feel like now I need to lighten the mood and tell you this is already my fifth try at this letter. Maybe I should start over now because I just started ranting to you.

I know you hate me. Stevie has been trying to convince me that you don't and that you are blind but isn't that his job to reassure me as best friend? Again I'm getting off-topic. Have you ever been in love, Jamie? I always wondered what it felt like. But now I know.

It feels like a ray of sun is shining on you and only you when the person is in your presence. It hurts but is a type of pain that you long for. At least I long for it. One person makes me feel like this. I have known him since forever. He saved me one day when I was being bullied back in 32. And no it wasn't Steve. It is you. It's always been you. Forever and beyond.

And again I will admit you hate me and I'm not sure why. It might be because I  was babying you. It might be because I'm annoying. It might be because I hold memories from when we were in HYDRA and I remind you of them.

But now I am going on this mission and I will admit that I am terrified because what if someone doesn't make it out? What If I don't make it out? I never get to see you again. So I'm sorry if this is too straightforward but you deserved to know the truth.

I hope you can forgive me for my honesty and straightforwardness,

With love, for the last time, Virginia

Bucky was shell-shocked. It seemed like his world was flipped upside down. He felt like he knew nothing for sure. Well, nothing except that he did know what love felt like. It just wasn't how Virginia described it.