Every Little Thing

It's not real...

She was nervous, fidgeting with her fingers, then the ends of her hair, taking deep breaths to calm her nerves. Her tells have always been so easy to read, I just had no clue why she was this nervous about whatever it was she had to say. "Lily..." I stated as calmly as possible, starting to get worried that she had something bad to tell me. Maybe she realized that after my confession, she just couldn't be around me, that it was far too awkward. Granted, I had been avoiding her, and that was wrong, but I had to try to let my wounds heal. It's funny to think with the given situation, but I digress.

"Caleb... what I said to you that night... I said it to try to protect you." She stated quietly, looking down at her hands. "I had gotten a text from one of my old friends at the dance, letting me know that Ross had gotten out of Juvy and... that he had started looking for me. It freaked me out. I know what he is capable of and knew that he would probably find me. Then... you said what you did." She drifted off and sighed slightly, tears starting to fill her eyes. "I knew that if he found out I was involved with anyone, that person would be in danger... so I lied to you, Caleb. I told you what I did to keep you safe, away from me and as far away from him as possible."

My brain was turning at this point, trying to put two and two together from what she was telling me. But, there was no way she was saying what I think she was saying. Why now? Why would she change her mind now? I get that the guy is going to be locked up, but... no, it can't be real. "Caleb, the truth is, I lo...." she started to say, but I quickly interrupted. "Stop..." I stated quietly but firmly, shaking my head slightly. "You don't... it's... it's not real, Lily. I want it to be. But it's not." I stated and looked up at her dumbfounded expression. "It is Caleb. I love you, I always have, you have to believe me." She half pleaded as she moved closer to me and took my hand in hers.

The butterflies I felt in my stomach almost betrayed me, almost made me break, but I know better. "Lily, you only think you love me because of what I did. Because I kept that delusional psycho from taking you. I defended you, ended up... well, like this, so you only think you love me. It's infatuation, Lily. It will pass." I explained, fully believing that I was right. Please let me be right. She looked at me with such broken eyes, and it killed me to see. But, she had to understand the truth of the situation. It was far too coincidental that after this happened, she suddenly decides to tell me she loves me.

"Caleb, I promise you that what you think is not the case. It's not infatuation. I'm in love with you, and I will do whatever it takes to prove it to you." She stated firmly, trying to hold back her tears. Shaking my head, I let out a sigh, being reminded of just how stubborn she could be. Looking up at her, I could see a sort of determination in her eyes, a look I knew all too well. She wasn't going to let this go, at least not for a while. When she had her mind set on something, it was nearly impossible to get her off the subject. "Lily, say we get together, okay? We date for a while, and it's perfect. Everything we both want. Then, one day, and the day will come, you wake up and realize that I was right.  That what you felt was simply infatuation. Then what?" I questioned, tilting my head slightly at her.

"I'll still be in love with you, giving you my all, but you either want to leave or decide to settle. It's not fair for either of us. We can't do that to each other." My voice was gentle, trying to hide the pain of even just the thought of having her only to lose her in the end. "Why can't you just believe me, Caleb?" She questioned, the tears now slowly rolling down her cheeks. "Because you told me how you felt, and I was getting to the point of accepting that. It's to much of a coincidence now. Be honest, if the situations were reversed, would you believe me?" I questioned back, trying to get her to think clearly. All she could do was lower her head and brush the tears off her face.

"I'll prove it to you, Caleb. I'll show you how much I love you, and I won't stop until you believe me." She stated in a determined voice, making my heart ache. I wanted to fold so damn badly, but I had to protect my heart from more pain. "Lily, I think you should go home and get some rest. I'm okay, and you've been here every day for... almost a week I think you said? Please go get some rest for me. I'll still be here tomorrow." I stated quietly, giving her hand a light squeeze. I could see the resistance in her eyes, but I had a firmness in mine to let her know that I was serious.

Watching as she slumped down a bit, I knew she conceded, a slight smirk forming on my lips from my little victory. "Fine... but I will be back first thing in the morning, and you can't stop me." This time, her voice was firm, and I knew it was useless to argue. "Don't forget breakfast." I stated playfully, earning a chuckle from her. Watching as she stood up and let go of my hand, I was expecting her to say her goodbyes and leave right away, but instead, she leaned over and placed a gentle kiss to my cheek. Her lips felt so damn good against my skin, softer than I could have imagined, and it left me speechless. "I'll see you in the morning." She whispered before kissing my cheek again. After she had gone, all I could do was sit there, completely dumbfounded with my stomach doing flips. In terms of resisting her advances until she comes to her senses, if she keeps doing that, I'm screwed.