on call w my (least) favorite lesbian and she's making me release this EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO FUCKING DRAFTS AND NO IDEA WHERE IM GOING W THIS STORY
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Song recommendation - Moon/my gf 🤗
"Give me a hit," I say, stepping towards Reneé. "Please. Tonight has been so fucked up. I need it," I beg, silently pleading with my eyes.
She stares at me, seemingly a mix of confusion and pity. And to be fair, she has every right to feel that way. It's been a weird ass night.
"Fucking please. I'll get on my knees and beg," I deadpan, holding eye contact as if I'm not embarrassing myself in front of the only girl I've ever loved for one fucking smoke.
She holds her shocked look for a second. "You know that's not why I'd like to see you on your knees," She jokes dryly, her skin practically glowing in the LA moonlight.
"Uhm, yeah," I say with a forced laugh, silently reminiscing about all the times before when she might have actually meant it.
"Here," She says, handing me the already lit joint, her expression softening as her fingers brush against mine.
"Thanks," I say, sliding down the wall next to her. She does the same, sitting next to me in silence.
We sit in silence, staring up at the sky. It's weird to think that she shattered my world in two and now we're sitting next to eachother, staring at the moon like it's nothing. And she doesn't feel the same. How the fuck can she not feel the same when we're here, looking at the same moon.
"The sky's nice tonight, hm?" I ask, trying to start a conversation, trying to slow the rapid thoughts in my head.
"Jesus christ. You used to be my favorite person and now we're making small talk," she says, throwing her head back against the wall. "Time really has a way of showing you that everything you thought you knew was fucking bullshit."
We sit like this for a while, passing the joint back and forth in silence, wallowing in the decisions we had both made in the previous months, until she ultimately breaks the uncomfortable quietude. "So you and Sydney?" She asks quietly.
"Yeah- Uhm, well not anymore, I don't think." I say, anxiously playing with the silver rings on my fingers.
"Oh. Is it okay if I asked what happened?" She says, glancing nervously between me and the ground, as if she's not really sure that she's allowed to look at me.
"I don't know. I think we both knew from the start it wasn't going to work."
"And why's that?"
I sigh. I think we both know the reason. We're both just too scared to bring it up. "Because I'm not in love with her. Not the way..." I start, not even being able to finish my sentence.
"Not the way what?"
"Not the way I was in love with you. Not the way I still am," I say, warm tears beginning to stream down my face.
"Y/N..." Reneé starts, but her words trail off.
"I know. I know you don't feel the same and I know I'm just wasting my time but god Reneé I was so fucking in love with you and I still am!" I say, standing up off the rough grassy ground and walking towards the middle of the back lawn.
"Y/N, I've loved you since the first second I laid eyes on you and I never stopped," She says, standing up as well.
I wish I could say it was like one of those moments in movies where the two characters realize they're in love with each other and run towards the other in slow motion, but it wasn't like that at all. We both kind of stood there for a few seconds, quietly staring at each other, until finally Reneé walks towards me - in normal speed, not slow motion. She pushes a piece of hair out of my eyes, her hand lingering by my face. She leans in, her mouth lingering so close to mine that I could feel her breath against my face.
"Can I?" She whispers, her voice sending shivers down my spine.
"Please," I say back, her mouth finally connecting with mine in what might be the best moment in my entire life. I'd forgotten how much I missed the feeling of her lips on mine.
She pulls away, staring at me, both of us considering the consequences of our actions. I pull her in for a hug, my face burrowing into her shoulder. "I missed you so much, Nae," I whisper into the crook of her neck.
"I missed you too baby," she whispers back, her breath tickling the top of my head.
We stay like this for a while, and it feels so good to finally be held by her again. To feel the warmth of her skin against my own, her soft breaths against the side of my head, the feeling of her heartbeat, syncing up with my own.
For the last two months, it felt like a part of me was missing, and now shes back. The puzzle that is my life has been completed, the last piece snapped into place.
"Reneé?" I whisper against the blonde's shoulder.
"Yeah?" She whispers back.
"I think you might be the love of my life."
She doesn't say anything, she just pulls me closer, trapping me in a tight hug.
"Come home with me," She says quietly, the reflection of the summer moon lighting up her face.
"Finally," I giggle against her neck.
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𝒜 𝑀𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒜𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓁𝓈 // Reneé Rapp X Reader
Fanfiction"If I'm being honest, when you look at me It's like kissin' a million angels And every tattoo's so intoxicating From your neck and right down to your ankles"
