Behind those lies

28. "Love isn't suppose to hurt others"

•Pran's P.O.V

Noong gabing may narinig ako mula kay Pat, umalis ako kaagad. Dahil sa takot na masaksihan ang pag-oo niya, takot na marinig ang pagpayag nya kay Nana, takot na masira ang lahat sa isang salita lang.

Hindi ko akalaing malalagay ulit ako sa ganoong sitwasyon.

Hindi ako makaalis, hindi makagalaw mula sa mismong kinatatayuan ngayon. This time, I'm not just eavesdropping. This is literally happening in front of me.

I checked on him, he's looking at her. My heart is beating so fast.

Lumipat ang tanaw ko sa itaas.

Nana lowered the cardboard one by one, each message adding to the suspense. "If it's a yes, then come up here and do a fist bump with me" As the last one dropped, Nana extended her fist, a smile playing on her lips, eagerly awaiting someone's ascent.

Fist bump? Seryoso?

Sadya ba 'yan? Sinasadya nya bang pikahin ako? Bakit 'yan pa? Bakit dito? Ano pa bang gusto nilang iparamdam sa'kin?

Pat's gaze fell upon me.

I looked away; I don't wanna watch him if at any moment he would come upstairs and do a fist bump with someone else. No one can understand how meaningful that thing is to me. If that happens, a huge part of me in him would be stolen.

What the hell? I'm freaking shaking inside, with fear, with angst, with pain.

"Alaiwa? (What the heck?)"

"Tama ba'tong nakikita na'tin Pran?"

"Akala ko ba magkaibigan lang 'yang mga 'yan?"

"Kaya nga! Dito pa mismo nagliligawan"

"Hey Pran, are you fine with it?"

"Si Nana pala 'yong tinutukoy ng mga tropa ni Pat?"

"Ueh! Aakyat kaya si Pat?"

"Hintayin na'tin"

Naririnig ko ang mga tropa ko sa gilid. Maging ang palakpakan at pangtutulak ng mga tao kay Pat na umakyat. Ang nakikita lang ng lahat ay ang dalawang taong magkaharap mula sa itaas at dito sa ibaba. Hindi ako kasali sa eksena, hindi kasali ang kwento at nararamdaman ko sa palabas. Nakikita ko ang sarili bilang extra lang.

Kung kaya ko lang bigkasin ang nasa isip ko ngayon, hindi ko na sana kailangang tiisin ang nakikita.

"Umakyat kana bro!"

"Ku nee narak jang loey (this couple is so cute)"

"Umakyat ka na, huwag mong paghintayin ang babae"

"Whooooo!!"

"This is so sweet!"

"Who are they?"

"It's a yes!"

"It should be a yes bro!"

Pat, who's still in his position receives pressure from all directions. The encouragement people offer him feels like a relentless punch to me, pushing me to vanish, pressing me down onto my knees, threatening to bury my entire being alive for the fear that's circulating within me.

Other people might think that this scene is iconic, a brave act from a girl who's madly in love with a guy.

But I've been here before, we've been here before. I didn't know someone made their own adaptation of it, casting the same actor I've been with before.

Hindi ako nakapaghanda para rito.

"What are you waiting for?" Another voice came from the audience, all of them are giving sympathy to the girl who's waiting upstairs, filled with hopes.