Shadows Unveiled

Defiled

As soon as we stepped through the door, a familiar face enthusiastically waved and welcomed us to Kismenti bar. It seemed we had become a celebrated duo, drawing crowds of happy people who reveled in our company. The bar had transformed into our own lively haven, a routine of the young, tucked into the heart of a social gathering. The tables were adorned with platters of nyama choma and fries, a feast that tantalized the senses. The air buzzed with laughter and animated conversations, accompanied by the clinking of glasses and the constant hum of joyous chatter. 

Beer flowed freely, with refills keeping the spirits high and the celebration in full swing. Kismenti bar had become more than just a watering hole; it was a vibrant hub where camaraderie thrived, and every visit promised an escape into the lively tapestry of shared moments and cherished connections. True to routine, the time for my departure arrived, and after a subtle whisper from Jenny, Camillus gracefully excused himself to play the role of my escort. Throughout the evening, he had proven to be a true gentleman. As we made our way out, he suggested we stop by his house for him to collect a sweater, a seemingly innocent proposal. 

Hesitant, I initially declined his invitation to enter his home, but he persisted, asserting that his sister was eager to meet me. The charm of his persuasion and the promise of a brief visit eventually convinced me to step inside, unknowingly stepping into a scenario that would unfold into unexpected twists and turns. I walked into a trap as he quickly locked the door and shoved me onto a bed. No sister was in sight and the struggle began. As I attempted to negotiate with Camillus, hoping to gracefully decline his advances, he remained adamant. 

In a candid revelation, he expressed his concerns, detailing how everyone in the neighborhood harbored desires for a fling with me. He explained that the prospect of having me so close without seizing the opportunity would be a source of embarrassment for him. In an attempt to extricate myself from the uncomfortable situation, I made a promise of secrecy to Camillus and warned him of the potential wrath of my brother if the encounter was revealed. However, he remained unyielding, responding with a shocking declaration that he would prefer to face death rather than let this opportunity slide. 

The revelation took an ominous turn, especially considering that his next-door neighbor was closely affiliated with my mother in church. Undeterred by the potential repercussions, I threatened to scream, hoping to dissuade him from pursuing any further. Yet, to my dismay, he seemed indifferent to my protests, creating an unsettling atmosphere that underscored the challenging dynamics at play. Amidst the escalating tension, the struggle continued, with both of us entangled in a fraught situation. Camillus's sweat dripped, further complicating the already challenging task of undressing me. 

In a fleeting moment, it seemed like he had relented, and I, exhausted from the struggle, entertained a brief hope that the ordeal might be over. However, my respite was short-lived. As he reached for a glass of water, I seized the opportunity to make a dash for the door. In a swift motion, he caught me and tossed me back, demonstrating a physical dominance that clashed with my own sense of frailty. Despite the apparent mismatch in physical strength, my legs proved to be surprisingly resilient. I managed to break free, finding refuge in a corner. Seated there, clutching my legs to my chest, the fight drained out of me. I stood up and told him to get on with it. He struggled to release my pants and shoved me back on the bed with frustration. I had no intention of undressing myself to be violated. 

As the unsettling situation persisted, Camillus took an unexpected turn, attempting to justify his actions by speaking about being gentle and reminding me that I was already a mother. I lay there, motionless, devoid of expression, and averted my gaze, consumed by the fear that he might escalate the situation. In my apprehension, I couldn't help but harbor assumptions about the physical attributes of Luhya men, wondering if I was in danger. In an attempt to diffuse the tension, I mustered the courage to break the silence. "Is that all you got? You are as smooth as a baby," I remarked in a defiant tone. The unexpected comment halted his movements, leaving him momentarily stunned.

In a sudden bout of embarrassment, he hastily dressed me and, perhaps realizing the gravity of his actions, instructed me to leave. "Do not dare tell anyone about this," he warned, his tone carrying a mix of anger and embarrassment. As I made my way out, a nervous giggle escaped me, contrasting with the fury with which he slammed his door behind me. The bizarre encounter left me grappling with a range of emotions, from fear to defiance, and a lingering sense of unease about the boundaries that had been crossed. 

The weight of the disturbing encounter with Camillus pressed upon me, but I felt unable to confide in anyone. My brother, a karate expert with a penchant for weed, was a volatile presence both inside and outside our home. His inclination to engage in fights with minimal provocation created an atmosphere of constant tension. I navigated the corridors of the jailhouse multiple times, delivering bread and milk whenever he was locked up. The routine visits had become so frequent that the police officers knew me by name. The juxtaposition of this familial responsibility with the personal turmoil I was enduring only added to the complexity of my situation, as the walls of silence around me seemed to close in. 

Despite enduring injustice from my own brothers and parents, forgiveness came effortlessly to me. The man I had loved deeply had walked away, leaving behind a trail of deception that affected everyone. In the absence of someone to confide in about my own ordeal, an unexpected camaraderie with Camillus formed. Our close friends, Jenny and Ben, had welcomed a baby into their lives, and together, we accompanied them wherever they went. Our shared experiences included the joy of dancing and the simple pleasures of watching movies at the 20th century theatre. Struggling to make ends meet, I could scarcely afford the basics. My shoes, worn-out and in need of repair, were patched up by the cobbler. While I diligently paid utility bills and school fees, I regretfully indulged in excessive spending on alcohol.