Solar Reign

X X X V I

"ARE YOU mad at me?" Andorra asked in the quiet of the dark bedroom. She wanted to be in Icewood, in their cabin, but her royal suite would have to do. Nohx's arms tightened around her, his lips pressing an open mouthed kiss against the skin of her neck.

"I'm not mad. I could never be mad at you." His voice was like gravel in the late evening. The moon shone through the window, providing only a sliver of light that arced over the sheets. "Will I be up all night worrying about you relentlessly? Of course. Will I be of absolute no use to Puck and the rest of his Court? For sure. But I'm not mad. We knew you were going to be leaving for Averotho anyway. And, this is your duty as Queen. It won't be the only time you'll be leaving to handle issues within Anlithamy, and I would never make you feel guilty about that."

Andorra spun in his arms so she could look him in the eyes. A soft smile played on his lips as he stared at her. The way her eyes blinked up at him stole his breath, and he found himself wishing that she wasn't Queen. That he wasn't a Clan Leader. That the two of them could have lived a whole different life if they'd been born into different families. He could have just held her in his arms every single night without a worry of what was to come.

"I'm scared," she whispered to Nohx. She let her vulnerability seep into her tone of voice for the first time since she'd made the decision to go. Sounding like this, like the scared human she used to be, had no place in her new life. Had no place around her council, even if they were her friends.

But with Nohx? She blinked away the unshed tears of her worry, gauging his reaction.

"I'm also scared," he whispered back. "But I know you can do this. And you'll be fine with Oberon by your side."

"But what if the king kills me? Why if I don't make it back?"

Nohx's face turned serious. He let his hand slip under the back of her shirt, rubbing circles into her skin. "Then I'll go to Averotho and I'll murder that son of a bitch myself. And then I'll chase you into Moribund and we'll find each other again in the next life."

A tear slipped down her cheeks. She didn't want to think about it, about her morality and her death. She didn't want to even imagine what would happen to her.

Nohx caught the tear with his thumb. "I wish you were coming with me."

"I would come in a heartbeat. I would chase you down to the ends of this world, I fear."

Andorra leaned forward, pressing a kiss against his lips. It was slow and sweet, but Andorra hated how it tasted like a goodbye. Hated how it tasted like tears and the end of the best part of her life. Nohx moved her underneath his body, caging her in as he deepened the kiss. It changed then, from something slow and savored to something rough and fevered. One of Nohx's hands slipped under her shirt and up, up, up towards her chest.

She released the kiss with a gasp. Heat rushed to her cheeks as she let Nohx touch her, let Nohx kiss his way down her jaw, let Nohx lean into her body. It's not a goodbye, she told herself. I'll see him when I return.

"You know, that night you rescued me? When I'd been kidnapped? You rejected me then, and this was what I had wanted. In that moment, for maybe the first time since meeting you, I had a wicked thought of you kissing me until I was breathless."

Nohx remembered all too well. His body stopped, his heart slamming against his ribcage, and he pulled back. Only enough to see her face, to read her eyes. She wasn't upset, not like he had expected. She stared at him with a loving smile on her face, and when she reached for his cheek, he leaned into her. Like he had wanted to do then.