I make x reader oneshots of objects. requests are CLOSED. i am beginner writer. like said in title, slow updates.
UPDATE - 7/16/24 : This book is now discontinued.
6/19/23 - #1 in battlefordreamisland
9/29/23 - #2 in objectshow
6/8/24 - #1 in object...
umm another crackshot to get me motivated again lmaoo
tw// cursing, weird jokes, stupidness, cringe, a lot of stuff man ——————————-
It had been a year since Fan had been kicked out of Hotel OJ. The Doritos and butt stench had been gone for a whole year and you couldn't be more grateful. Birds were singing, kids were playing, flowers were blooming, and everyone was at peace.
UNTIL...
Fan was back. He showed up at the hotel's door one random night. He explained that he had come back because his Roblox girlfriend had broken up with him because he wasn't "alpha" enough or whatever the fuck that means.
Everyone was against letting him back in at first, but it seemed that he had fixed himself up and didn't bring a level 5 radiation scare everywhere he went.
And of course- the fucker just had to be placed right next door from you, once again.
It was nighttime. 4 in the morning. Everyone was sleeping peacefully, not having to worry about a biological gas leak killing them in their sleep. Everything was fine until a scream was heard from next door.
"FUCK!"
Youstirred in your sleep, not being awoken from the loud scream. But then..
"GET OUT OF MY BASE!!"
Your eyes shot open. You rubbed your tired eyes and look around your room in confusion, trying to figure out where the sound came from. After a few minutes, you gave up on trying to find the source of the sound. As you were starting to go back to sleep, a series of swear words were heard from the room next door.
Fan...
You sat up on your bed and started to bang on his wall, "Shut up! People are trying to sleep!" You waited for a few minutes and heard no response. You figured the little discord mod finally got the message- yet the peace was disturbed once again when a bunch of annoyed groans came out of his room.
You pushed yourself off your bed and started to make your way to the discord mod's room. First the ass stench and now this? When will this guy learn to stop? He's basically the living epitome of a human repellent. It wonders the hell out of you on how he even got a girlfriend.
You could still hear Fan talking as you approached his door. You banged on his door a couple times and waited for him to answer.
"WHAAT!?" Fan yelled from the other side, annoyed.
"You need to be quiet! It's 4AM and people are trying to sleep!"
"Nooo! I need to finish this game first!" Fan whined.
Your hands formed into a fist. This gremlin better not be playing Fortnite again. You let out a sigh and began to speak, "Well can you do it quieter then..? All this screaming is going to wake someone up," you said, patience wearing thin.
"Okay.. okay.. WAIT- NO!!!!" Fan screamed again.
"FAN- I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD-"
"What's all this yelling!?"
You turned around and saw OJ standing there with his arms crossed and his face looking like he had a botched plastic surgery performed by a cactus.
"Fan keeps disturbing me with his screaming so I came out to tell him to keep it down," you explained to him.
OJ nodded and stepped closer to the door, "Fan stop disturbing the residents or you'll have to be evicted again."
"NOO!!!"
"Alright. That's it. I'm coming in," OJ said, already sick of his bullshit. He reached for his keys (that unlocked every door) and inserted them in the lock.
Fan turned around on his gamer chair and hissed as the door opened. You and OJ looked around the room, which surprisingly wasn't trashed. Guess he learned his lesson on that.
"What the hell are you doing, anyway?" You asked, turning your head to his laptop screen.
"My Roblox tycoon!" Fan said. "I'm trying to level up but this kid keeps getting in my base and killing me!" he yelled angrily.
"...what?" OJ asked, not understanding a single thing that just came out his mouth.
"Okay, I don't care. Just be quiet please," you said, just wanting to go back to bed without being disturbed by his screams that sounded like a hyena mating call.
"I'm sorr-" Fan was cut off by the same player sneaking into his base once again and killing him.
"YOU STUPID NI-"
"HEY! YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!" OJ yelled now.
"I AM CALM! I'M FINE! SEE?" Fan shouted, pointing at his 'calm' face that looked like he was severely constipated.
"Listen here. I will kick you out again if you cause anymore trouble. I've did it before and I'll go through hell to do it again," OJ said, staring Fan dead in the face.
Fan rolled his eyes and huffed. "Oh my goshh.. can you guys get out now? I'm literally streaming!"
"Wait this is LIVE!?"
As if on cue, his laptop blasted on full volume,
'funnybone420 donated $3! i just superglued my butthole shut am i cooked?'
"Bro WHAT!?"
"Nah I did that yesterday, you're fine G," Fan replied.
"What the hell is wrong with you people?" OJ asked.
"What? I did it so I didn't have to go to the bathroom anymore. Why'd you think my room is so clean now?"
(O/n) and OJ:
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"what."
"Lmao don't be dramatic guys, you wouldn't get it," Fan said, chuckling.
Another donation was blasted on full volume, 'hellenkellerexperience_23 donated $5! AITA for pushing my grandma down the stairs as a prank?'
"Nah, I did that last year. I dunno why everyone was making a big deal out of it. You're good bro," Fan said.
"All of you are cooked bro💀" you said.
"Yeah, you're getting kicked out again," OJ said now.
"WAIT- GUYS WAIT-!"
Fan was kicked to the curb once again. Better luck next time.
