Object Shows x Reader Oneshots (DISCONTINUED)

II | fan is gamering (crackshot)

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warnings: f*rtnite, f*n, stanky, swearing
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Fan was at his laptop playing Fortnite with his bootleg xbox controller from ebay. The ants were crawling all over Fan's room due the amount of dorito crumbs and mountain dew all over the floor. A foul stench emitted from Fan since he hasn't showered since August 12, 2013 3:24pm est. Paintbrush couldn't take it anymore and moved out the second they were assigned roommates.

You were just lucky enough to get a room right next to the gamer's door. The stench became so bad that it started to spread throughout the hotel's walls. Everyone in the hotel had begged Fan to take a shower, but he still wasn't budging. It came to the point where everyone had to wear a level 5 gas mask.

But you? HELL NO!! You were NOT having that. You grabbed a gas mask that you stole from Test Tube and put it on. You angrily stomped out of your room and walked to the room next to you. You banged angrily on Fan's door.

"WHAT!? I'm gaming go away!" Fan yelled from inside. You pounded on the door again, earning a grunt in response. "WHATTT!?!?! WHO IS IT?!?!?"

"Fan! It's me, (O/n)!" you replied. You heard movement and shuffling on the other side of the door before it opened. He peaked out of the door, and the stench immediately hit you in the face like a truck. The gas mask was basically useless as your eyes immediately began to water at the horrible smell.

"OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT STENCH!?!?" you yelled, immediately feeling sick. You started gagging like you had a pubic hair in your mouth.

"It's my gamer scent! Why are you hating?" Fan replied, annoyed. Mostly at the fact he was disturbed from his gaming session. Fan opened the door completely and he was only in his underwear with skid marks and booty sweat. He adjusted his glasses and looked at you. "So what do you want?"

"Fan, PLEASE take a shower. YOU'RE MAKING THE WHOLE HOTEL STINK!!"

"Noo!" Fan whined, "I'm not getting rid of my gamer scent!" Fan was about to shut the door in your face but you stopped it with your foot.

     "NO! EVERYBODY IN THIS HOTEL WANTS YOU TO SHOWER!! WE CAN LITERALLY SEE THE STENCH COMING OUT OF YOUR FUCKING ROOM!!" you yelled, stepping inside his room. As your feet touched the floor, you were immediately met with 'squish' sound. You slowly looked down as your face twisted into disgust and horror.

     "Fan....what is this...?" you asked carefully, making a mental note to decontaminate yourself the second you step out this room.

     "Oh! That's where I marked my territory! Duh!"

"Fan.. what the HELL does that mean??"

"Ugh, you wouldn't get it," he replied annoyed before going back to his gaming chair. His chair had all sorts of substances on it and a hole was even starting to form due to the butt stank.

Fan got back on Fortnite, and that's when you finally lost it. "FAN! TAKE. A. SHOWER!!"

"I'm litwally about to hit a clip!" Fan said.

"Get off the game and take a shower," you said calmly now. Not for him, but yourself. You could feel your blood pressure going through the roof.

"Noo," Fan whined again, "I'm literally about to hit this clip!!"

"I DO NOT CARE. It has been 11 YEARS since your last shower," you heard Fan groan in response. "Get off of the game. YOU STINK!"

"Hold on! This player is literally a sweat-" he yelled, trying to kill another player on the game.

"GET OFF THE GAME!"

"HE'S LITERALLY A TRYHARD!"

"We're tired of you STINKING UP THE WHOLE HOTEL!"

"That's not me," he replied, still focused on his game. He was trying really hard to box this player, but failing miserably at it.

"Get out of your room and take a shower!"

     "Wait, wait, wait-!" Fan yelled, trying to do some stupid ass trick shot but failed horribly, he'd make Helen Keller seem like a pro gamer.

     "UGHH! OH MY GOSH THIS PLAYER LITERALLY TRIES SO HARD AT THE GAME!"he yelled.

     "And YOU need to try so hard at the shower! GET. OFF. OF. THE. GAME!"

     Fan rolled his eyes. "I'm not even gonna try hard at the shower cause it doesn't have things like slurp juice, floppers, or meddy beddys," he said, listing the things from the game.

     "PLEASE, JUST TAKE ONE SHOWER EVERY TWO MONTHS! THAT'S ALL WE'RE ASKING FOR."

     "Nooo..! That's too many! AND YOU'RE LITERALLY RUINING THE CLIP!!"

     "AND YOU'RE LITERALLY RUINING MY NOSTRILS!!"

     "You're probably just in the Fortnite storm-"

     You were fed up. "I'M DONE. I GIVE UP. DON'T TAKE A SHOWER! IM MOVING OUT!!" you yelled, leaving his room and slamming the door.

Fan pulled out his phone and started texting his discord kitten. "These guys keep ruining my clip!!! New ick just dropped 😐😐😐"

Fan then heard a knock on his door. "GO AWAY!!" he yelled.

A paper was then slid under the door. Fan took his smelly ass up and went to the door. He bent down and picked up the paper. It was a letter.

It read:

Dear Resident of Hotel OJ,

Due to some complaints of some residents, everybody must take a daily shower. If you do not follow these guidelines then you will be evicted.

Sincerely,
Orange Juice and Paper

Fan crumbled the paper in anger. "That is SO not fair! They can't do that!"

Fan was evicted the next day. 12 dead, 20 injured.

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932 Words

A/N: lesson of the day, dont hit a clip before taking a shower