Object Shows x Reader Oneshots (DISCONTINUED)

II | an insane thanksgiving (crackshot)

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warnings: swearing, weirdness, steve cobs, sexual stuff (no smut) 😡😡
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Everybody sat around the table on Thanksgiving Day. Even the contestants from season 3 were here!

You arrived a bit late, but it's okay because you only came here for the free food.

"whats up guys!!! I hope im not too late!!" you said, taking a seat between nickel and balloon.

"oh noo, you're right on time" nickle said sarcastically.

"shut up you fat bitch"

suddenly, oj came out of the kitchen with the turkey. he placed it in the middle of the table and took a seat next to paper.

now that you think of it, the turkey does kinda look like ur ex.

"is that my ex?"

oj cleared his throat before speaking. "thank you all for coming, especially the contestants from season 3. before we eat this dinner, i would like everyone to say what they're thankful for."

"im thankful for this hotel and everyone in it," oj said.

"Im also thankful for everyone and especially oj," paper said smiling.

"im thankful for butterflies, pillows, and everyone here!" clover said.

"im thankful for the sweet release of death," blueballs said.

everyone was quiet for a few seconds.

"W-well im thankful for science!" Testixkle tube said. 🤓🤓☝️

"im thankful for big booty bitches, lube, and tampons. thank you very much," you said, grabbing a piece of your ex- i mean turkey.

"O/n what the fuck is wrong with you?" paintbrush asked.

"bitch ask yo mama tf wrong with her she was gobblin my shit like vietnam💀💀"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY??"

"WOAH OKAY GUYS CALM DOWN!!" Oj yelled. "O/n, let's not say those things here," he said sternly.

"yeah, and lets not send nudes to my phone at 3 in the morning"

"WHAT!?"

everybody yelled in shock. their mouths open like they just downed a jug of diet pills.

"Mhm. That mf was talkin bout some 'i want u to drink my juice and replace it with pepto bismol,'" you said.

Oj was red in the face at this point. he slammed his fists on the table but that lil twink didnt do shit. "YOU NEED TO LEAVE!!"

"alright guys.. what the flip ;-;"

"yknow what? fuck all you hoes," you jumped on top of the table and started fisting the turkey at a 90 degree angle.

everybody looked in terror as the turkey started twerkin on the table with mexican music playing in the background.

"fuck this shit im out," blueberry got up and left.

you started to spin around with the turkey in your hand and launched it out the window like it was a 1000F honeybun heading towards a homeless person.

"OH MY GOD THEY THREW THE FUCKING TURKEY!"

Everybody started screaming before it turned into a full on brawl. Somebody flipped the fucking table, making you fall.

"WHAT THE SHIT!?!?"

Everybody was gettin their ass kicked in. Paper beat OJ with the green beans. Knife was gettin his shit rocked by Apple. And Silver Spoon was getting beat by a fuckin chair. You pushed yourself off the floor, went up to Cabby and pushed her down the fucking stairs.