truth

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The following day was chaos, it felt like everyone was running around the Keep planning and scheming and Alyssa could barely keep up her act. She had been forced to attend council meetings where plans were beginning to be devised. Aemond was to fly to Storm's End to win over the Baratheons and she was to stay put in case she tried to run back to Dragonstone. Feeling like a hostage with nothing to do but wait she decided to pass time by reading the history of house Targaryen. She passed her time in the library often bumping into Helaena and her children who were undergoing their lessons there. Alyssa tried to form a friendship with her but Helaena seemed to be more troubled than usual by her visions. She continued muttering about dragons and Alyssa decided to give up, instead staying in her chambers alone.

She could not take the silence and inaction any longer so that night Alyssa decided to sneak out to the city. Once more she did not know where she was going but she at least wanted to get away from the castle walls. She could not retrieve her dragon and fly to Dragonstone so instead she would spend her night on the Street of Silk and find some company there.

This time whilst walking through Maegor's secret passageways she had a new confidence and spring in her step. After all, what more could she loose? Already her dignity was gone after having to bend the knee to Aegon and her family would never see her the same way after that. As she emerged from the tunnel she decided that the night's goal was to find some Arbour Gold and forget about all of there troubles. She was still traumatised from the coronation and bored from the council meetings. She had no place there and could not bear listening to them speak of her family how they did. At a certain point she started believing that they were only keeping her alive for her dragon Silverwing. Maybe if they ever corrupted her enough she would give in and fight for Aegon. Clearly they did not know her well.

Finally Alyssa found herself in front of one of the infamous pillow houses on the Street of Silk. She opened the door and entered, not even caring if anyone recognised her. Besides, she planned on spending her night in one of the back rooms with whatever handsome knight she could find. At once she asked for a drink and sat down watching the room move around her. It was full of ladies and men dancing exotically and loosing their clothes. She noticed a few people looking her way whispering amongst each other but soon enough they went back to their business. Alyssa rolled her eyes at the attention. Hadn't they seen a royal in a pillow house before? Alyssa couldn't believe Aegon spent so much time in these places, she was only here out of pure boredom and was already regretting it.

As she stared off into the distance, a shadow approached her from her side.

"My Lady, what are you doing here tonight?" He questioned.

Alyssa looked up at once, the man was tall and broad shouldered. He had dark hair and a confident grin. He would be good enough for tonight she thought.

Alyssa battered her eyelashes at him, "Good day, I am only searching for some company tonight. You see, I have been quite lonely of recent." She stated feeling the drowsiness of the wine she had been drinking.

The man laughed, "It is night, my lady, not day. Anyway, I am Steffon. What is your name?" He questioned.

Well at least he had not recognised her, "Oh, you are quite right Steffon" she giggled, "I am Penny, it is nice to meet you".

"It is nice to meet you too, Penny." He responded grinning at her.

Alyssa smiled, taking another sip of her wine, "Shall we walk around, Steff-on?" She questioned breaking up his name. The wine had definitely gotten to her and he could tell.

Steffon agreed, "We shall, I can show you a place I like to go." He got up and lead her through the crowds. Even in her state, Alyssa could vaguely make out a silver haired man in the middle of the crowd ahead of her. She could hear people chanting "the King" but she paid it no mind. As Steffon lead her to the back, she turned around once more looking back at the crowd and noticed Vaera, the girl Aegon had fucked last time at the pillow house. She squinted trying to make out who else was in the crowd but it was no use. Finally they reached one of the back rooms that was free and at once Steffon went to say something but Alyssa stopped him with her finger on her lips. Tonight she did not care for small talk, she just wanted to escape for a while.

Alyssa grabbed his arm and pulled him further into the room. She could barely make him out in the dark room but she felt his arms grasp around her waist and pick her up. She gasped wrapping her legs around him. Moving her arms to grab his shoulders, she felt their lips meet and reality started hitting her. Slowly she kissed him back and but found herself wondering where Aegon was. She didn't know why he came into her head in such a moment and it honestly made her feel sick to the stomach, but nonetheless she continued kissing Steffon. Why should she care about Aegon? He had proven himself useless enough and was probably busy at some other pillow house tonight. Somehow though he would not leave her thoughts. She felt Steffon begin to loosen her dress but before he could unbutton it fully, she jumped out of his grasp.

He looked at her confused, "Did I do something wrong, Penny?" He questioned.

Alyssa shook her head, "No, no, it is me. I am sorry, I must go now." She responded walking out leaving him there. She could not stop thinking about Aegon. What was wrong with her? She was trying to enjoy herself and yet again he had to ruin her night by crowding her thoughts. As she made her way through the crowd once more, knocking into people and not paying attention, she heard her name being called out. Expect this time it was her real name. Alyssa spun around silently begging them to remain silent. People would soon begin realising that she was the princess.

Realising the voice was coming from the crowd she had previously passed including Vaera she slowly approached them hoping not to be seen. Moving closer she peaked over the circle of girls who seemed to be watching something. She stood on her tippy toes and heard her name again.

"Alyssa! What are you doing here?" It was Aegon. Of all people it was Aegon. Alyssa's eyes widened not believing her bad luck. He was sitting down amongst a crowd of women in states of undress. Suddenly he got up and reached for her, cupping her face in his hands.

"What are you doing, Alyssa? You could be killed if anyone finds out you left the castle!" He exclaimed seemingly genuinely worried.

"I only thought I would get out of the Keep for a bit," she half whispered, feeling disappointed in herself.

"Come with me." He stated, leading her away from the crowd and towards the empty rooms at the back with her arm in his.

"Are you trying to drive me mad?" He questioned looking at her in the eyes.

"What are you talking about? I don't need anything, I am just here to see some friends." She replied.

Aegon furrowed his brows, "Friends? That guy you walked back there with was your friend?" He asked not believing her.

Alyssa found herself caught in a trap, "Yes" she uttered, "We have known each other for many years."

Aegon was not impressed, "What is his name?" He asked coldly.

Alyssa froze for a second, "Uh- Steffon." She exclaimed, "What does it matter anyway? I don't quiz you on all the ladies you see."

"So you fucked him?" He questioned, his hands still on hers. She felt them tense around hers as his eyes darkened.

Alyssa was dumbfounded, "It doesn't matter what I did with him, Aegon. You are the biggest hypocrite of them all." She stated pushing his hands off her hers.

"Of course it matters, you're all I can think about." He stated, staring into her eyes. She took in the beauty of his eyes, they seemed so full of pain normally but tonight all she could see was rage.

"What?" Was all she could say. How was it that they were both afflicted with the same thoughts of each other?

Aegon grabbed her arms once more, trying to make her understand, "I come here to try to forget about you, but I can't get you out of my head. It's like a sickness. I go to sleep thinking about you and you're the first thing I imagine when I wake up, Alyssa".

Alyssa couldn't believe what she was hearing, "And yet you come here to see other girls, how does that make sense, Aegon?!" She questioned.

"I only fucked that silver haired girl the night you saw me here because she reminded me of you. I have searched everywhere but I cannot satisfy myself, I must have you." He responded sounding desperate.

Alyssa's eyes widened, she was not used to people speaking so vulgarly like that. Despite her outwards appearance, she was still shy sometimes, especially around men.

"What about your mother's plan to marry me to your brother?" She questioned, not knowing where to even start.

Aegon scoffed, "Forget about him, I want you to marry me." He stated leaving Alyssa's mouth open in shock. 

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