Unforgettable | Yuzuru Hanyu

30. Stay

It was only a matter of moments until the awkwardness was back.

Sure enough, it was now clear what both of them wanted and being so open about their feelings certainly made everything feel different but right at the same time, it was hard to know what the next step should be.

"Maybe I should..."

"You want some tea?"

They both spoke almost at the same time, interrupting one another without even realizing it until it was too late.

Even still, Yuzuru was the first one to cave.

"I would love some."

Neither of them wanted to part and there was no denying or attempt to hide it. Even when they both knew it would be best to get some distance since it was already quite late, none of them made the attempt to make it happen.

Kana got to work on the dreaded drink mere moments before telling him to make himself at home in her apartment.

Yuzuru took his sweet time, looking through the small home with curious eyes, enjoying every small bit of information it gave him.

The whole thing didn't take that much time until she was presenting him with a mug with a gentle smile that he quickly returned.

"Thank you."

"Of course."

It was only then, as he awaited for his tea to cool slightly that Yuzuru finally spoke of what had been on his mind for quite a while.

"You said you wanted me to stay."

She was instantly caught by surprise with his straightforwardness. Yuzuru had been paying attention to her every word and trying to find the meaning behind them. This was just another one of those situations where he so easily caught her without much effort.

The truth was that she wanted him to be there by her side. She wanted to share a bed with this man despite supposedly barely knowing him. She wanted to be in his warm embrace for as long as humanly possible.

Still, admitting it seemed almost like a crime.

"Is it weird if I do?"

Kana had no idea where the whole question had come from but his reassuring smile made it all slightly better. It was easy to forget her embarrassment.

"No..."
He paused and took a sip of his hot beverage. "I think it's... normal." There were many ways to describe it, but Kana was grateful he picked the one that suited her the most. "If you're not comfortable, I can leave whenever you want."

The way he looked at her made it very clear that leaving wasn't an option for him.

And yet again, Yuzuru managed to put into words everything that she had been feeling. If anything, it was because of his calm demeanour and how he never pushed her beyond her comfort zone that made everything feel so natural.

There was a brief pause in between them as both of them enjoyed their drinks. The quiet moment soon turned into a soothing silence that neither of them dared to break.

"I'm not sure what this means."

She was breaking the rules and saying exactly what was on her mind. For once, she didn't care about the outcome because there was nothing to hide. At least, not from Yuzuru.

"I think it means we like each other."

There was a brief moment when Kana could see a smile forming on his lips, even under the dim light of the kitchen. And although the answer had been simple enough, it had put everything into perspective.

Perhaps they were moving a little fast for her comfort, but the truth was that she could never imagine this kind of connection with anyone else.

So when she finally took his hand and dragged him to her bedroom, it was very clear that neither of them knew exactly what to do then.

Yuzuru seemed to be patiently holding on to any glimpse of self-control he could find and yet, all at the same time, you could easily understand just how miserably he was failing.

"So..."

"You do realize I can leave if this is weird, right?"

"Yeah, but I want you here..." She quickly explained, only to realize how easily her words could be distorted to other... More risky meanings "...to embrace me, you know? I always feel comfortable in your arms."

There was no need to clarify it further than that.

Yuzuru nodded and gently pulled her into his embrace. It was a slow movement, as if he was worried that she might change her mind anytime soon, and yet it only ended up making the action more endearing.

He didn't waste much time before he whispered in her ear to go get changed to go to bed and it was easy to see the bright red tint that settled on her cheeks once she understood him.

Eventually, once she left her bathroom in the most normal and boring of pyjamas, he gestured softly in guidance and they both laid down on the bed, facing each other as he held her tight against his chest. Everything felt right, which was why it took Kana so much time to speak again.

  Not only because she was getting lost in the peaceful atmosphere but also because she wanted to say the right words. After all, there was nothing worse than ruining such a perfect moment.

"I like being close to you."

His hold tightened ever so slightly at her confession but he never moved his gaze from where it was fixed.

"I like it too."

Again, there were no words necessary because everything had been said already.
He gave her a single peck on her lips, ignoring how much he wanted her in other ways. Yuzuru knew he had to be patient and having this was already more than he could have ever asked for.

Even when Kana finally drifted off to sleep, lulled by the gentle touch of Yuzuru's fingers on her hair and his steady heartbeat, she knew she was exactly where she should be. And although she might not remember much about her past, it was clear that she needed him in her life to move forward.