Unforgettable | Yuzuru Hanyu

44. Realization

When the time of the trip to Japan finally came, she was still really afraid of how things would go.

Her boyfriend was definitely reassuring and was trying to help her as much as humanly possible but even still, some of her fears were completely inevitable.

One thing was certain, having someone so used to traveling by her side definitely helped. Still, Yuzu eventually had to inform her that they wouldn't be going alone. It seemed like his mother was going back home too and that meant that the one thing she had been avoiding was time to happen.

She had to meet her.

He saw it all in her reaction as he told her, the sheer panic that seemed to consume her expressions. In a way, it was almost funny, even if she didn't find it laughable in the slightest.

"And you're only telling me this now?!"

"I have been trying to get you to do it on time, baby"

Kana couldn't possibly get mad at him because of this, not when he had really been trying to get them to meet for weeks on end. Her avoidance was the only reason for being in this situation all along.

"I... Fuck... you're right."

"So... you want to meet her before the flight or we will just keep delaying the inevitable?"

Her expression said everything. The girl was more than aware that there was no escaping now. With just a couple of days until they were going, time was certainly scarce.

"Can we make it happen now? Isn't it too late?"

"I'm sure I can schedule dinner..."

Sure enough, her panic settled again because nothing could prepare her for this moment.

"Yeah..."

The smile that settled on his face was so bright that it could probably blind her. Yuzuru was certainly satisfied with himself now.

She was cooking in her apartment while he watched her carefully. Their previous conversation was still on her mind. Yuzuru didn't hide that he was observing her as it was now usual but Kana could almost see how he wanted to ask something that he was holding inside of him.

"Kana" he called out her name eventually.

"Yes?"

"Will you tell me why you're so afraid of meeting my mom?"

Afraid? She wasn't even sure that she was feeling fear. What started as purely little thoughts in her head soon turned out to be silly. Now, however, her concerns were purely mostly out of concern of what the woman would think.

As far as Kana knew, Yuzuru's mom had known her in the past, and truth be told, she wouldn't blame the woman if she wasn't her biggest fan. Even if unwillingly, Kana had been a big reason behind Yuzuru's pains in previous years.

Now her biggest concern was if the woman considered her good enough for her son and something told her that Yumi had reasons to want her away from him.

"It's not really fear." Kana admitted out loud for the first time.

"Well, it has to be something..."

Considering how well she knew him, there was no way that Yuzu was about to drop this subject so she ended up debating with herself for a good while until finally deciding to tell him.

"I'm... I'm afraid she hates me."

His genuine surprise at those words made her wonder if he truly hadn't thought about it.

"Why would she?"

"Because I broke your heart..."

"Not willingly. It's far from being your fault, Kana."

Realistically, he was right, but Kana just didn't know anything about his mom. Understanding if she was understanding or not was completely impossible from her side.

"You can just say you think I'm stupid."

"I don't... I just want to make sure you know that those fears are unfounded. Meeting my mom has nothing to do with formality, it's just that she misses you as much as I missed you once. I know you're not really aware of this, but when you disappeared from our lives, I wasn't the only one affected. You were family and in a way, I'm selfish enough to wish for that all over again."

She had never considered it from that perspective but it was eye-opening to finally see things that way and far more reassuring than she could have ever expected.

"Are you... huh... sure about that?"

"Honey, there's nothing for you to fear."

Just like that, they settled it, she was officially meeting the woman the next day.

The result, you might ask?

Well, not surprisingly, her boyfriend had once again been right and the biggest proof of that was how she was hugged so tightly she could barely breathe just outside of the front door.

Yumi was the sweetest woman she knew and it did turn out that all of her doubts had been stupid and in vain. If anything, Yuzuru's words about her being part of the family were only further proved. Kana felt completely relaxed in Yuzu's apartment while eating Gyoza and Japanese snacks that were randomly taken out of the storage.

She was completely stuffed after a couple of hours, eating way too much to be healthy but if anything, Kana just found a few new Japanese things that she hadn't considered in the past years, just in time for the trip.

And if you needed any further proof that she was more than comfortable, the mere fact that she chose to spend the night in his room should be enough indication. Sure enough, her face was all red when the older woman asked if she was staying but when it came down to actually being there, Kana could easily feel at home.

Just like that she finally realized that even though the previous years had been painful at times, she now had the opportunity to connect with people and experiences that had been gone from her life for a while. No matter how scary it felt at times, taking the risk seemed to be the right call every time.

She was now ready for the rest of the challenges that awaited her.