Unforgettable | Yuzuru Hanyu

49. Skating at home

Nothing could have prepared her for how different it would feel.

You live your whole life thinking that something like this doesn't matter at all but when you experience it, the array of feelings that can consume your body is just too overwhelming.

Skating at the Ice rink where she grew up was an experience unlike any other.

Kana saw her grandparents settle in one of the stands and Yuzuru helped her out onto one of the benches where both of them quickly got their stuff ready.
The movements felt familiar and part of a routine that seemed to be hard to erase from her brain, almost as if it had been engraved there.

Tsuzuki-sensei stayed exactly in the same place and part of her almost felt a deja vu to see him observing them as they got ready to enter the ice. The whole thing was weird, filled with unknown and indescribable emotions that she could barely understand.

Still, she went along with it. As long as Yuzuru was there and guiding the way to whatever this whole sensory experience was, the woman felt ready and alright with whatever was suggested.

Being watched by so many people when she was used to pretty much train with only a coach was a bit weird but at the same time, these people were family and she could trust them without a single ounce of a doubt.

When they were both warmed up and ready to enter the ice with skates on their feet, Yuzuru guided the way towards the very same ice where they met and in a way, the place where they fell in love.

The meaning wasn't lost on her either and there was no denying that he was considering it as well. One single look at Yuzuru's expression and you could tell how much he was thinking about the whole thing.

Truth be told, in the beginning, when they first stepped into the ice and glided away, everything felt exactly the same as it did in Toronto. It was ice after all.

Kana knew very well that the whole place didn't exactly have magical powers to make it all feel that different but at the same time, the intensity of everything she was feeling before made her wonder why this felt just the same.

Only when she looked at those watching, things felt different.

It wasn't the location and it wasn't the circumstances that made her feel like she had. What mattered were the people.

For the first time since the accident, Kana felt loved, not just by her friends or her boyfriend but also by the people who raised her. The gap that losing her parents left was only noticeable when she thought deeply about the situation. It was way too easy to forget about those who brought you into this world when the memories of them were pretty much nonexistent.

The feeling of belonging in a place, however, didn't change with time or lack of memory. It stayed engraved in her mind and there was no doubt that it was impossible to ignore now.

It was only a matter of time until she was gliding freely, loving the way it made her feel just like on the very first day she skated after the accident.

If only Stella was there now...

Kana was certain that her best friend would love to see her like this and most of all, she would be proud of her for finally figuring out the mystery that was her identity.
Her Canadian family might have tried but they certainly didn't succeed.

Whatever the reasoning behind the gatekeeping that she was submitted to, the last thing she wanted was to think of negative things when everything was so happy. Kana was surrounded by her family and loved ones, this was a moment to enjoy.

The motivation of feeling so amazing certainly translated into her skating.

As much as she enjoyed skating hand in hand with her boyfriend, it took just a few moments until she was letting it go and skating freely by herself. The motivation of being watched was one she hadn't understood until now but all she wanted to do was impress her spectators.

Was this how it felt to compete? To give the absolute best in hopes of an amazing result? To be watched by people who admired you?

The whole experience settled a seed in her imagination, one that she hadn't considered before.

Kana imagined a different reality, one where she could skate in shows and be an athlete again.

Don't get it wrong, she loved her research at the university but there was a feeling achieved with skating that she couldn't get anywhere else, almost as if a magical one.

With this feeling deeply engraved in her every thought, Kana looked at her boyfriend and the motivation only increased. A series of complex steps quickly happened right away and before she knew it, the woman was jumping in the air and landing the most beautiful of triple loops.

Maybe it wouldn't be impressive to most skaters but when you were away for so long, being able to somehow get into the shape you once were was almost a miracle.

The feeling of hearing the cheers from those she cared about only amplified the intense sense of pride that she was feeling then, Kana could've sworn she couldn't be happier than she was in that moment.

Well, she was wrong.

One single glance at the edge of the rink and she spotted someone who wasn't supposed to be there, someone who should be all the way in Canada but somehow was in front of her eyes, cheering with everyone else.

"Stella!?"