|"You're Hot Then You're Cold"|

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April 2 2013

**Hey guys, im currently in Mexico and I have NO type of internet connection for 2 weeks but right now Im at my cousins house for a couple days and they have wifi..thank god!! .but yep im pretty bored here and I don't really like Mexico, buuuut Im using my boredness as a major writing opputunity^-^***

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The warm soothing water fell onto my face as I took my time in the shower this morning. No matter how many times I told myself to forget it...I couldn't. I couldn't forget about what happened in "detention" yesterday with Mr. Downey..and then for a reason I don't completely understand, I got really mad..'Is he just trying to play with me? He knew what he was saying..what he was doing..he made me feel wanted in a way..and it was a good type of 'wanted', different from the type of want that Sam had. But then my mind fluttered back to Josh and I realized that Josh is more in my reach then Mr. Downey. For one Mr. Downey is my teacher! He's also significantly older then me...even though I am 18...which is legal...BUT still to old, yet incredibly hot, I mentally punched myself..and decided that i wasn't going to waste time having these stupid high school girl thoughts..I mean god..I probably look like the girls who flirt with him in class. Josh is my age..Josh is the hottest guy my age...Josh is a gentleman..Yea, I barerly met him but we have lots of time..Im not sure if Josh likes me forsure but Im going to try with him. Looking at myself in the mirror and deciding that last part was a huge mile stone in my life..considering the fact that I've never had a boyfriend...Lucas and I might have dated..but Sam had to go and ruin that. I've never been the type to approach a guy or let it be known that im interested..But dammit Im 18 and Im a Senior..I have the perfect oppurtunity with Josh and this time im going for it.. Im tired of being alone.

I decided to call Josh before leaving home..Im going to try and spend as much time as I can with him. "Hello?".."Hey Josh..um my car won't start." So what, a little white lie never hurt anyone.."Really? Well I'll be there in 5 if you want?" I could hear the excitement in his voice when he said that.."I'll be outside." I said with a smile even though he couldn't see me, and I hung up..I felt a wave of happiness rush through me..this could be good for me. I sat outside and waited for Josh, and just like he said it'd take..he was here in 5 minutes, I jumped up and skipped to his car while peering into the window "Hellllo." I said in a cheery voice..while getting in the car, he looked at me with his eyebrows raised up, "Well someone's happy." He said with a chuckle, I smiled back at him "Yes, yes I am." I went on telling myself that the whole day...but a part of me felt like that was a lie.

He parked in the school parking lot and before I even had my seatbelt unbuckled Josh was already opening my door for me, I smiled to myself, "Why thank you kind sir." I said with a smirk, he did a quick bow "My pleasure." When we arrived at campus, he snaked his hand down to mine and interlaced our fingers, I looked down at our hands clutched together and I couldn't help but blush a little, he leaned over, "I hope you don't mind me holding your hand." I looked at him and smiled, "Im glad you did." And with that we walked through campus together and the same cliques were in their same spots and they all watched us in shock, but I didn't care....until we walked into B-hall to go to my locker, Mr. Downey was standing outside of his door talking with another teacher who I'd never seen before, but he looked really old. Mr. Downey was standing on the side facing my way, and as I walked down the hallway I decided not to even glance at him, I knew he was starring at me as Josh and I walked closer to where he stood, he stopped mid-sentence and looked at me, I could see it through my peripheral vision, but I acted like I didn't even notice him. I held Josh's hand tighter and he looked down and smiled at me. Once we passed Mr. Downey I heard him clear his throat and continue what he was talking about. Obviously by the look on Mr. Downeys face he was bothered/shocked..but why? He's my Drama Teacher.

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