I Want You... (EDITING)

|Backstabbed|

For the past week I've been spending alot of time with Josh. After school we go to the cafe and then to a nearby record store..It's actually what I look forward to in a way..he has distracted me of the hurt I was feeling..and honestly Im grateful to him for that. I miss Robert so much..when Im alone Im tempted to just go to his house and hug him..but we need space, he needs to get his busniess under control..I'm not as mad as I was at first either..but still, what he did was a shitty thing..and I haven't talked to him this entire week. Sometimes I feel like a fool..we were only together two months and I let myself get so upset when I think about him. I hate going home.. I go to my room...and it's like my mind is torturing me..I think of Roberts' smile..the sound of his laugh, the way he walks, his sarcasm, his boyish attitude, the way he smells, the way his lips feel..everything to me is a constant reminder of him..but I won't let myself go running back to him. The other day I showed Mr. Evans around the school..I guess it's safe to say we have become friends..since he's new to the school and it's my first year at Jericho valley too..he's actually pretty charming and he says the funniest things..I wonder if him and Robert talk, I mean they are co-workers but I don't know. Robert gives me little smiles here and there, but Im just glad he understands what needs to happen first. I finished eating my toast and left for school, Ivy and I are supoosed to hangout today for a bit..Im not sure what we are going to do, I wonder if she has told her parents yet that she's pregnant.

I got to school and walked through campus..it's actually not like my first day of school walking past all those groups of people, they hardly notice now and some people give me a wave and a smile. While getting closer to the sundeck I saw Ivy, she was using strong hand gestures and she was yelling, I tilted my head and saw that she was yelling at Josh..and he was shaking his head..he looked like he was getting really mad. He yelled something in her face that I couldn't distinguish, and then walked off, Ivy flicked him off and started walking away. From what I know..they haven't talked..I wonder what they were fighting about but it's not really my business. I walked down B-hall, I was relieved that Robert wasn't outside of his door. I was walking past his class when I heard someone call me, I looked over and stepped into the room...there was Mr. Evans sitting on one of the desks, and Robert at his desk..my eyes darted back and forth at the both of them.."This is the girl I was talking about." Mr. Evans said while pointing at me..I looked at Robert, "Oh is she?" Robert said while starring at me with a questioning face..I awkwardly smiled and looked at Mr. Evans.."I was telling Mr. Downey here how you have been my savior during my first week at Jericho." he said with a bright smile and put his hand on my shoulder..I wanted to strangle him.."Oh...yea haha well it's not that big of a deal." I said trying to play it down..I glanced at Robert and he was leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest, he looked at Mr. Evans, then at his hand on my shoulder and then at me. "Non-sense, you're a savior...well I've gotta get going." he said while patting my shoulder and waving at Robert, Robert gave him a head nod and Mr. Evans was gone 'fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck..' he's leaving and now I have to face Robert after that incredibly awkward moment..I haven't been flirting with Mr. Evans or anything like that..but I already know how Robert is. Roberts eyes left the doorway and landed on me..there were 10 minutes left till class's started. Robert sighed and got up, he walked over to the door and closed it..I just stood there, looking at the ground. He walked to me and stood infront of me, "Amanda." I looked up at him.."I just want you to know that my divorce is finalized today.." "oh rea-" he cut me off while looking me dead in the eyes.."but I guess that doesn't matter since you're falling for casanova huh." he said coldly. I furrowed my eyebrows, "What are you talking about?" he rolled his eyes, "Im not stupid, you obviously like him...there isn't any reason why you shouldn't I mean..he's younger, he's better looking, he seems like a nice guy..you have my blessings." he said with a fake smile, he turned around and walked back to his desk.."I don't like him..Im just his friend if anything." I said trying to defend myself, he shook his head "Lying is bad trait Amanda." ok, that was my breaking point..."Im so sick of you saying that." I mumbled.."What was that?" he said while looking down at something, in two steps, I was at the front of his desk.."Im so fucking! sick of you saying that, I'm not lying..you want me to lie?! o-fucking-kay then. Yes!" I said while raising my arms "Im absolutely infatuated with Mr. Evans..his crystal blue eyes, his muscles, his sense of hum-".."Stop