The Queen of Jotunheim

Chapter 35: Who you Are

Chapter 35:
Seeking the Answers to
Who you Are

Who is he? He doesn't know! People around him keep saying different stuff and it's exhausting! He's a prince, he's a prisoner. He's an Asgardian, he's a Jotunn. He's their savior, he's a failure. He's the victim, he's the villain.

Who was he? Probably nobody... If he was someone, then someone else would be looking for him. But no one was looking for him. He was alone, and so surely, he was nobody.

The water around him suddenly got a lot colder, which probably should have made him shiver, but it was a familiar kind of cold. Like an ice pack against his forehead when he was suffering from a fever.

It chased away the shadows, wrapping around him in a protective blanket as he woke him up a little. The lullaby he heard earlier was so much closer now, so familiar.

He had to be someone, surely! But who was he?

"Loki!" He heard a voice call out to him, one that was both familiar and scary. He opened his eyes as he saw a bright light, swimming down toward him and recognized the warmth of the light and reached out toward it.

He wanted to call out to it, but then stopped himself. No, this woman was not his mom! She was just another person who lied to him! So why was she here? Where was he again? Who was he again?

"Loki! You need to wake up! If you keep sinking you will never get out of here!" Frigga's voice called to him. He didn't remember where he was, but he did remember that there was no air here! So the voice was nothing but an illusion, just like the woman in front of him.

"Go away! I don't wanna hear anymore lies!" He called out, his voice and body that of a child, but he still stood firm. Even a child would know that at this point, enough was enough! He shrugged off the cold embrace which was probably just another trig of this woman!

"Loki, my son, I never once lied to you," Frigga begged, reaching out for him, but he fell back, away from her reach. "You lied everyday!" He called out, giving her a hard stare. "I was never your son! I was just a pawn in Odin's plan! And you played along!" He growled, glaring at the woman. "Just because you were not actively spilling lies does not make you less guilty!"

"... What your father did-" She tried, but he would not have it. "HE IS NOT MY FATHER!" He screamed out, his voice pushing her vision back and threatening to destroy it if not careful, but he didn't care!

"... What Odin did to you, was wrong," Frigga whispered, careful now as she didn't move any closer, "he never treated you right, I know that now, and I know now the lies he told to justify his actions, and I am truly sorry I did not see them sooner..."

"But I never lied to you, Loki," she whispered, floating down as if slowly falling to her knees, making her look defeated, but also lowering herself to his level, trying to catch his eyes. "My blood may not run through your veins, and I may not have given birth to you, but you have and always will be my son."

He hesitated, because he heard no lies in her voice, but had he ever caught his parents lies on his own? No... And yet... He looked at her, tears in his eyes as he felt himself waver. "I never once considered you anything else but my child. It did not matter that you did not come to me the same way Thor had, or the differences and challenges that brought with it," Frigga whispered, tears in her own eyes.

"You are my son, and you will always be that, even if you run off, wanting to live with your birth parents... Even if you disown me and never wanna speak to me again... You will always be my child, and I will always love you."

Loki felt the tears streaming down his cheeks as he moved closer to his mother... Did blood really matter that much? Odin had lied to him, yes, but he had also treated Loki differently then Thor. Looking back, the only assurance he had that Odin was his father was the blood in his veins, which had never been there.