Found (Bungo Stray Dogs)

Chapter 10

Both Jane and Dazai eventually fell asleep and the night passed. Dazai woke up early, around 6 o'clock. To his surprise, when he switched to his other side, he was greeted by Jane's sleeping face, bringing him both joy and sadness at the same time.

He sat on his futon, looking at Jane. He realized what a massive idiot he had been by mentioning something that must constantly weigh on her mind as well. Was I just assuming that she'd turn to me for help?

He imagined a scenario where the whole situation was resolved and Jane could go back home, but he realized he didn't want that. He wanted her to be by his side forever. But at what cost? Was I just so tired that I blundered yesterday? Or has she dulled my rational thinking? If she asked me to help her approach Kunikida once again, I probably wouldn't be able to come up with a plan.

Dazai sat, staring at Jane and contemplating his feelings. After some time but much sooner than Dazai had expected, Jane frowned and blinked open her eyes.

Dazai did his best to look casual and say with his smoothest and most charming voice he could muster at such an early hour, "Good morning, Jane."

Jane looked at Dazai from under her brows and pulled herself even more into the fetal position. "Good... morning."

Dazai was glad she closed her eyes again because Jane had been just too darn cute and he wasn't sure what his expression betrayed. He managed to calm himself before Jane sat up and looked at him. Dazai wanted to seize the moment,

"I'm sorry for yesterday."

Jane thought for a few moments. "Which part?"

"At the very end when I asked about your future. I imagine you're pretty worried about it yourself."

Jane smiled. "You don't have to worry about it, Dazai. I'll figure something out. I just know that there has to be a way."

Dazai wasn't happy with that response. "But I want to protect you, Jane. I want to stay by your side, so I also thought that... that I'd ask you to be my girlfriend."

Jane was happy deep down, but she let her rational mind have the power. "But you don't even know me. And I don't know you! We met like, what, three days ago?"

Jane had a point – what was he doing?? Thinking back now, Dazai realized how crazy he sounded. "Sorry, I guess I'm saying stupid things all over the place." After a while he tried again, "But if we're going to stick together, wouldn't it be better to at least try being girlfriend and boyfriend?"

"What? So you could annoy Kunikida?" Jane deadpanned.

Dazai was taken by surprise and just stared at Jane for a second. But then he broke and laughed. "And you said that you don't know me."

Jane, on her hands and knees, left her warm blanket to stab Dazai's shoulder with her finger. "I don't know things about you that matter! And I don't just try relationships, especially if I am not sure it's going to last."

Dazai felt the stab in his shoulder and his heart. "Oh, I see. So I am that repulsive to you. Were you playing along, pretending to have fun, just so you'd have a place to stay tonight?"

"No! Of course not," Jane said but the energy in her voice decreased as she realized what Dazai might think of her. "I actually really like you," she added, but it was too late.

"Get out," Dazai commanded. He sat on his futon, his hands grabbing the blanket before him and his eyes staring at the wrinkles. Both sensing and understanding his anger, Jane silently stood and moved to the kitchen to change. While in the kitchen, her mind naturally drifted to food. She wasn't hungry, but she warmed up some leftovers and prepared some more side dishes to take to Dazai.

She didn't trust herself with balancing the dishes on her hands, so she gathered everything on the ground behind the door. "I'm coming in," she said before sliding the door open and lifting the dishes inside and then closer to the bed. Dazai was still sitting in the same spot as before, unmoved.

Jane was about to say something when Dazai, quite defeatedly, asked her, "Why are you still here?"

Jane swallowed the apology she was just about to offer and gathered her courage. "Because I realized I don't want to leave you, Dazai. Let's talk later, okay? I'll go for a walk. I'll come back here or the Detective Agency."

She left quickly and closed the door behind her. She maintained her pace and left Dazai's dorm with the same momentum, thinking of a good spot nearby to sit down and think.

Dazai, after hearing both doors shut, let himself collapse back onto his futon. But he knew that he had to make it to work on time, otherwise Kunikida would have the right to make a snarky comment about him and Jane. He rolled over to his stomach and noticed the food Jane had brought. He quickly ate and got dressed, knowing that he didn't have a moment to lose. He had to go and get her back.

Jane had found a nice bench in a public garden and sat there to think. While she was emptily staring at nothing, a small girl with long blonde hair and a red dress appeared in front of her. Jane froze as she recognized the girl from Mori's office, but got over her fear to look around for the man himself.

The girl stood in front of Jane without saying a word. Jane had a mind to just stand and leave, especially since nothing was stopping her, but she also felt that it would have been too suspicious and rude. But she also didn't want to talk to the girl. Using her ability to look for Mori in that situation would have put her at some risk as well.

"Miss, would you play with me?"

"Play with you? What do you want to play?"

"Rock-paper-scissors!" the girl cheerfully replied. Jane's thoughts jumped back to the day before when they had played with Dazai to decide who would do the dishes. "If you win, we'll leave you alone, but if I win, you'll join the Mafia!"